1) A family think they're going to Devon, but end up holidaying on a greasy chin.
2) A ventriloquist dummy version of Santa winks and unleashes a tangy, fat-lady smell as a defence mechanism. He makes the room look sharp.
3) I become the most unpopular Doctor Who ever. My catchphrase is ''Sarah's in the compactor, but I've left Nigel in the aquarium''...I'm quickly replaced by Martin Clunes.