Spurs win 9-1. Defoe was brilliant, Edman was the worst I've ever seen anyone do anything, EVER.

Stoke beat Portsmouth 1-0. Boateng takes shoddy penalty.

Blackburn beat Bolton 2-0. Comical own goal from Ricketts.

Uli Hoeness blathers on about Ribery, Chelsea and Real Madrid.

Jamie Redknapp tears into Rafa Benitez.

Patrice Evra says some stuff about Ireland, most of it mad and incomprehensible.

I don't know anything about the lower leagues, so shoot.