Dinner with boyfriend's parents - Do's and Don'ts
Seriously, i need help. I've met them a few times before briefly and im not completely socially retarded but im still horrendously nervous. I like this guy so i don’t want to make a tit of myself. Any ideas?
Thread not appearing correctly? Click here to rebuild | Report this
Twitter
Facebook
Last.fm
SoundCloud
MySpace
Friendster
RSS
do have table manners
don't act like a tit
...
You need tips on eating a meal?
Oh dear God
I've just had a terrible vision of the near future
And talking to people, it seems.
just general etiquette and stuff
i can go from being really really shy to quite loud and brash, i find it incredibly hard to find a middle ground :(
Get your boobs out.
http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/do_eeettt.png?w=332&h=400
:D
Smile and nod.
Gaze adoringly at the boyfriend every now and then.
Find something that you agree with them on.
Put food in mouth.
remember to chew...
CLICK HERE TO REBUILD THREAD
TO REBUILD THREAD, CLICK HERE
THREAD TO REBUILD? CLICK HERE
CLICK THREAD HERE TO REBUILD
TO CLICK THREAD, REBUILD HERE
Get your boobs out.
It won't rebuild.
To reply again after already replying to someone, you need to go out of the thread and come back in again. The beauty of DiS.
this may also be good advice
for this dinner with the rents you're so worried about...
Just always bear in mind that their constantly judging you as a human being, scrutinising you every twitch
And you'll be fine
*they're
That's a black mark, right there.
Don't get cursed by a toothless gypsy woman prior to dinner.
Do put peas in your nostrils and shoot them out at the other dinner guests.
Do put your face in the soupbowl then turn around to the person next to you shouting NOOOOOOOOOO! THE SLIME! THE SLIME!
Do cock your leg up and fart
Im not sure
but you are the person i trust most in this thread......
do i get to see you at 10 years atp?
Follow my lead, love, and you won't go far wrong...
Not at 10 years, I'm afraid. I'm at MBV instead. You'll be down for Z!5 though, reet?
when is it?
i've not had the internet at home im out of touch with these things? Can i bring my boyfriend or is it going to be really "internet"?
Grrr.
NO, it isn't really internet. You fanny.
January 30th. Unless I see you if I take in a Gresley game before then, and you can join me for that. And some darts.
Gresley and darts would be ace
I'll PM you my number, im not sure when i'll get internet so text me if your planning on going.
Declare your love to his father
The optimum way to do this is to reach a stockinged foot out under the table and fondle his groin with you toes.
A simple 'I see where my Dean gets it from' in a husky voice should round it all off nicely.
^SO MUCH THIS
Drink a little to loosen up, but not too much...
Also, I find it helps to realise that they probably find the encounter just as nerve-wracking
should i bring wine?
im going to bring wine... gah what if they know its cheap though? It'll probably be cheap.
Take a bunch of flowers instead.
I reckon even if it's cheap they'll appreciate the gesture
Long as it's not Blue Nun or summat
Don't listen to these loosers.
Get
Your
Boobs
Out.
*loooooooosers
when I met Chris' dad his dad said something like
"she's very confident, isn't she?" after meeting me, and when Chris said something along the lines of me being SMART his dad said "...really?".
so probably don't do what I did.
:"""""(
It's piss easy
They're just people. Just talk to them. Don't talk about sex.
If you do. Get. Your. Boobs. Out.
Boooooobs
Why is it that people think dinner with the in-laws is going to turn into a Ben Stiller film or an episode of Friends?
I blame TV.
Probably Ben Stillers fault, that or Friends.
That episode of Friends that Ben Stiller was in
STUPID DUCK! etc
cultery from the outside in
always choose the brown roll
don't start eating before others have their grub
don't reach over people for the salt,wine, etc
don't drink too much
excuse yourself when leaving the table
get your milkers out
why the brown roll?
You stay in Wonderland and see how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
:')
It'll be cool.
As a general rule if the person you like is cool (which i am assuming he must be) then the parents will be sound as well. Just relax and enjoy yourself and if its not going well then i'd suggest doing what _meh has been suggesting all thread.
:)
boobs?
yes _meh, boobs.
:)
...
Do:
http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=2127
Don't:
http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=2125
:(
Trend Web Security
Access to http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=2127 is currently restricted due to a blocking rule.
If you need access to this URL for business reasons please click here to create a job on the IT Queue (please include the URL on the job)
describe??
Drunk, overweight man performing karate kick with hole in his jeans so his scrotum peeks out like a cheeky little lemur
Is that Do or Don't?
:D
tip for boyfriends parents:
don't do what my parents did recently when meeting my brothers new girlfriend and have a blazing row about thatcherism and the bnp in the middle of dinner.
Between themselves, or with the new girl?
mostly between themselves
and then between them and with me my brother and his girlfriend on the other team.
proper tip: if offered booze, do have a glass or two but don't go mental
My ex, my first girlfriend's mum absolutely HATED me
Cos she was bluer than blue tory and I could articulate my political beliefs better than her even though I was 16.
She used to introduce me as "Nicola's communist boyfriend"
And at her 18th birthday dinner I had a heated discussion about nationalism with a lot of her mother's side of the family in which I said nationalist conservative politics was incompatible with their faith and that Jesus was in fact a Socialist. Girlfriend in question didn't speak to me for a week afterwards
*also
don't attempt a sneaky guff when they're out of the room, you never know how it'll turn out.
:)
My fisrt gfs parents were quite staunchly catholic and the mother didn't really have a sense of humour about it all, she really couldn't take it when i brought up the inconsistencies and hypocracies of no just catholicism but all religions. I suppose a lot of parents reckon new bfs will not argue about such things as religion and politics with their all knowing selves.
They really didn't appreciate my 'The Pope and all before him have been responsible for more deaths than Hitler'
I was kind of at the wind up, got the result i was looking for.
do: question and ridicule their belief system
don't: let anything discourage you from this goal
Hi Siobhan!
Do wear a low cut top for his dad.
Don't get food stuck on your face.
If offered a drink, always accept and say thank you, regardless if they're drinking paint stripper/Spar gin (though I reckon you'd like that anyway.
Make sure you wipe your feet on the matt on the way in.
who's Matt?
The pooch you pedant.
Poor Matt
who is this?
is this tristan?
Sorry, it's Aaron.
I retired my old name. I keep forgetting.
Haha she thought you were Tristan.
I reckon it was the 'low cut' bit that did it.
I was going to bring that up but I've never met the lad but heard nothing but bad things about him on here.
Mainly from dash.
Tristans fine!
i've not said mean things about him! you must be thinking of everyone else
Tristan is grrrrrreat
but definitely nipple obsessed.
My best ever 'meet the parents' was when I was meeting my very well-to-do boyfriend's parents at their hoilday house ni the north of scotalnd, and they were having a little dinner for teh family ni my honour (or something). His car had been recalled ot teh garage, so we got the train, and if there's one thing I love about tranis, it's getting mirocolous on them. I thought I had hid it really well, but apparently whilst engaged in conversation with them, I unwittingly buttered the bnack of my hand thinking it was my bread roll. What's worst about this is I didn't know this until after the dinner. Don't do this, please. Also, don't stand on any deaf or blind pets.
^ big typing fail
Fucking drunks.
Waaaah
Must read posts before posting.
If there's one thing I love about 'tranis'........
Err, what the fuck does mirocolous mean?
Absolutely blind birlin' drunk
I'm quite sure I spelt it wrong. Yes, yes I did. Miroculous: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Miroculous
I've only met two lots
one lot were quite reserved I think. The others liked me so much they invited me for christmas dinner 18 months after we broke up.
erm
do -
offer to help
help clear stuff away
ask them questions, then smile sweetly as they go on
don't -
get drunk
questions are good
polite ones.
People like to talk about themselves.
don't try and pull him off under the table, just in case its the father
or even worse little brother. Or dog.
I'd say keep going if it's the father.
chain smoke
and if they ask you a question ignore them. This way they will think you are cool.
Do perform some close up magic
Don't hesitate for even a second in glassing the father if he smugly tells everyone how a particular trick is done before you have finished it
don't touch your boyfriend
"there"
srsly:
Wear a dress, particularly something that his mother will be likely to compliment, which is neither showy nor too casual. The “BOOBS” comments are kind of right, because while you should wear something quite demure, make sure it’s cut in such a way as to entice his father just enough. If his father turns out not to be a starer, take a light cardigan with you that you can put on that will just look like it’s complimenting the outfit and not because you’re freezing or want to cover up.
Take a bunch of flowers with you and give them to his mother. You never know if they don’t drink or don’t like wine or are allergic to chocolate or something, so you generally can’t go wrong with flowers.
Tits and teeth: smile a lot, but not so often it makes you look deranged or high. Talk about how nice the house is and point out something in particular; even if everything is totally whack (“What an adorable lawn ornament”, “I love this painting of the clown”, “What a fascinating bust of your dead uncle”). When it comes to conversation, ask enough questions so you seem interested, but not so much that you appear nosey. Don’t be afraid to crack a few jokes, but stay away from dead baby and Nazi ones.
Table manners are pretty standard: elbows off, work the cutlery from the outside in, use a napkin after every bite, ask to be passed stuff, and excuse yourself from the table. Thank them for dinner, even if it tasted like dog poo. Offer to clear up once everyone is finished, when the gents are retiring to the drawing room for a cigar and scotch.
Thank them for a lovely night and tell whoever cooked that you’ll have to get a copy of that recipe, and then leave at a responsible time, or, if you’re staying overnight, keep the sex noises down.
Uh, I think that’s everything.
A napkin after EVERY bite?!
Sod that. Unless you're eating the whole meal in one mouthful.
A lady should gently dab the corner of her mouth in between bites.
It's alright for blokes, who can shove their faces in the bowl and gorge, but ladies float through life with decorum, looking good.
You've not met d_and_b, have you?
Hm. You seem to be onto something here.
Perchance, do you offer your services for hire?
experienced.
^ you mean 'SLUT'
how about "your mum" jokes?
drop your keys in the punch bowl
and enquire as to when the rest of the couples are getting here. i
don't walk in rubbing your hands and say
" RIGHT, where's your shitter?"
do smile.
I don't really think it's a big deal...
the initial introductions are the worst but you've met them before and if you're boyfriend is a nice guy then he's not going to let you struggle or feel awkward, don't worry about it just don't get too drunk.
And in keeping with the mention of boobs on every post....there's nothing worse than realising your boyfriends dad is sleazing on you, I say keep em covered my dear.
personally i think that he dad is just happy your not a guy
so dont worry about him its the mum you need to make friends with. I'd be honest about your nerves too they'll find it endering that you care.
i don't remember you letting DiS know you were back on the market.
it's not that hard!
start off polite, smiley but don't be too loud. just get an idea of how the conversation's going, and join in where you can without being argumentative. stay away from politics or religion unless they're already sounding off and you agree with them (in which case be vehement in your agreement), thank them and offer to help out where possible. unless they are ogres, it'll be fine.
also i think generally be slightly tamer than them. e.g. if they swear a lot, don't automatically join in! just laugh at their jokes and be nice.
just be needlessly polite
don't act confident. it's the path to a world of pain.
being able to speak the same language is a good start
Hen's mum is hella scary
just ask mother's whether you can do anything to help etc, make nice small talk, tell them how great the boy is and all that nonsense. Oh and don't flirt with his tad too much Siobhan ;)
my mums scary?
haha.
....errr yes
she may be small but she has control over all of you :S
Don't be vegetarian.
It causes no end of problems between my boyfriend's mum and me.
As does my lack of religion. Try not to go out with catholics.
Just be polite, drink and dress sensibly, eat everything.
UPDATE
it went okay. I spilt a pint over his dads crotch, however i only got drunk enough to make good conversation, didn't say anything too stupid or make too much of a tit of myself. Thanks for the advicce guys
"Spilt a pint"?
So you went for the 'handjob for the dad' route?
I'm glad it went alright :)
it went okay, even though you spilt a pint over your bf's dad's crotch?
the rent of the evening would have had to be pretty special to compensate for this howler.
Was that really that bad a thing to happen
he didnt seem annoyed or anything.... fuck maybe i did cock up royally
i would have been quite embarrassed
but then it could've broken the ice. i'm sure if he wasn't annoyed then you're okay...
sorry mate...spilling fluid on the head honcho's cock'n'balls is a huge faux pas
I would have struggled to clamber back from that doozy
do your gf's parents make you pay rent when you go over for dinner?
harsh
yes. rent. that's exactly what i meant to type
Mikey Mikes parents are good people.
You should have brought up Alty FC at every available oportunity.
:)
I meant to get mike to ask you on Saturday - do you fancy popping round for dinner at the new flat this weekend?
that sounds lovely.
I'm at a gig on saturday though.
that sounds lovely.
I'm at a gig on saturday though.
I wouldn't worry about that
I hardly think the biggest thing his parents were worrying about was "christ, I hope she's not a clumsy bitch".
Sounds like you nailed it - I presume you got your boooooobs out to see them game off?
"With the father,
you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks... Oh, with the mother, just ... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had."
I wouldn't've worried about all of this anyway
Think about it, if the ma n da are a buch of twonks, then that's it, eh? Cannae do anything about that. N no matter what they're like, I'm sure no matter what, you'd have manners, respect, etc?If they didn't like you, it wouldn't be the end of the world s'long as he likes you, that's all that counts.
(BTW, since when did lassies get this bothered about a guy? That'd be nice for a change..)