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I promise to post it but only after 10 or so pretty good ones get posted here first.
but I'm (star)bored already.
there have been some complaints that the higher ups in the royal navy are spending too much time worrying about their own strategies and tactics and how they operate. senior officers have even been seen in helicopters, just watching the ships go about their business on the sea.
newspapers are demanding that they stop all this silly 'naval' gazing.
Because he's hunting for his Red October.
"Serves you right for eating it"
"... I don't know if I can wait until we get to Egypt."
Can't seafarer than that.
mast try harder
GET THE FUCK OFF MY SHIP
Because he was on shoreleave
Captain, we've got a leek!!
Unfortunately this attempt at humour caused panic within the vessel as they were 1100 miles into the South Atlantic at the time. Had the captain taken the time to look around and see that the sailor was in fact holding a leek, maybe all this could have been avoided. But then again it was irresponsible for the sailor to make a joke that could so easily be misinterpreted and potentially jeopardise the lives of hundreds of people.
(I was being the end of Stan by Eminem there)
When I said 'funniest' and 'ever' I should probably have also pointed out that I'm only just getting over a sinus infection that's laid me low since Friday and has involved mild delirium at times.
.. I'm not very good at these
Your poop deck thing was ok. A bit.
That's Propellor-ly lame.
You deserve to be keel-hauled.
"Because I'ma Commodore"
for when they're about to go into combat. In English it means "To the water, it is time".
In French, "A l'eau, c'est l'heure".
*starts sinking again*
Schooner or later I WILL think of the world's funniest naval pun.
Rest ashored I'll keep it to myself.