Boards
It's good to have a goal in life.
The front page of The Sun today is ace. Following on from yesterday's equally ace 'The fattest man in the world lives in Ipswich' headline.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2692469/70-stone-Brits-tragic-ambition.html
I know he's a big guy but did it really need four reporters to write that article?
EMMA MORTON
Health and Science Editor
RYAN SABEY
ANDY CRICK
and HELEN GILBERT
I read somewhere else that at one point they were thinking of using a chinook helicopter to move him :(
"He added:
"If you add up all the GP visits, hospital visits, visits from carers and nurses, transport costs, disability living allowance, home adaptation and home help from social services it comes to £1million."
1 MILLION. i'm sure they didnt pluck that figure out of the air.
Could've had a box at Chelsea for a season for that kind of money.
handy that it all added up to that nice round sum
his daily routine is great
fat git should be euthanised tho
Sugar Puffs?
"TOILET ROLL
Easily accessible as Paul has to use a bed pan. The man-mountain is now unable to get out to go to the loo."
UGH!
I bet he doesn't stand up to wipe his arse.
it looks more like kitchen roll to me
"I wash ma self with a rag on a stick."
jesus fucking christ
It follows on nicely from everyone bragging about how much they eat yesterday.
My favourite bit is the inflatable slide. As if there's one invented that's sturdy enough to take that bulk.
What about one of these?
http://www.zodiacaerospace.com/custom/img/group-fr/produits/1_evacuation_general.jpg
My first thought was
"now there's a man who eats a whole packet of biscuit whilst doing a shit"
:D
I came whistling happily into work this morning
with the sole intention of posting a thread called 'it's good to have a goat in life'
Now I'll have to hold fire a couple of days to avoid looking like a nerd starting a copycat pun thread.
It is though - good to have a goat in life.
I don't understand how people can want to do that to themselves.
It's like those people that think they shouldn't have any legs so they sit in a bath of ice until they have to be amputated. It baffles me.
This man clearly doesn't know how to operate his own life.
say again?
Turned to prevent bed sores
my new favourite phrase
Wow, this is almost a beautiful image
'Neighbours said they had seen him only once in the past six months, when he enjoyed a summer barbecue on his drive while lying on his bed.'
This story is almost as depressing as that article about the man who made going to every Asda in the country his life goal.
also, are any unemployed people on here recognising themselves in this image?
and the daily itinerary?
Worrying.
Please tell me you haven't had a bed barbeque recently...
I have to say, I expected The Sun to conjure a better headline for this story
The headline on the actual paper is
4 LARGE COD
2 PIES
4 BATTERED SAUSAGE
6 LARGE CHIPS
MUSHY PEAS
CURRY SAUCE
(AND THAT'S JUST FOR LUNCH)
It's ace.
Have they done a sub-article on his local chippy owner who has made a packet from serving this fat guy far too much food for a long time.
While his mother's home was repossesed, the chippy owner was probably buying an apartment in Monte Carlo.
That'd be brilliant.
A row of tradesmen and retailers all lined up going 'I love fat bloke, thanks to him needing a reinforced toilet seat I made enough money to get the kids an XBox!'.
They must be weeping now he's going to hospital, especially as there's a recession on as well.
Not really enough to feed an army as claimed by Mr Chippy
"And he ATE his mother"
- The Sun.
I love out of contex pull quoting.
I think that whole line is good.
And he ATE his mother out...
we were just all commenting on and laughing at this in the office really loudly to each other.
when i went back to my desk i realised the very large guy in our office was just sat at his desk in silence.
i'm going to hell.
Don't worry, he'll get there before you.
Nice work.
someone reckons there was a massively fat woman in america
who didnt get off her sofa for 6 years and so became fused to it.
i'm not so sure
ick
there was a woman in britain who got fused to the sofa, for so long she became covered in fur
her mother still bought her her favourite meal of fried eggs every day for about two months after her daughter died sitting on the sofa
I couldn't eat fried eggs for a YEAR after I read that story it made me feel so sick.
What did she do with the cooked eggs?!
Just balance them on her furry corpse hoping they'd somehow seep in and revitalise her?
i demand to see a link to this furry woman story
google it. 'furry woman couch death' maybe?
i can't bear to read it again.
http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html
Then sold the egg/sofa/girl to the tate modern for a billion pounds.
true
http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html
oh
sorry!
he might be dead
do the decent thing and roll him over to prevent office chair sores
i'm not making any jokes about him, sorry.
Is it your Dad?
too late meths you already have
no i havent,
we were talking about the worlds fattests man.
Usain Bolt?
^ world's phattest man
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/images/400/keith03.jpg
...
Tragic ambition? Having seen the picture, it looks more like HEROIC ambition.
Says the man who eats a metric tonne of pop tarts for elevenses