Two days ago I flipped down the loo seat in preparation for murdering a brown snake and discovered someone had managed to get poo on the side of the seat. And apparently either failed to notice or failed to think of doing anything about it. Either way, grim fucker.

Today I went to the only free cubicle to find someone had lovingly taken a big piss without lifting the seat. And there are urinals in our bathrooms too.

I thought it had reached a pretty low point when guys were coming in to take a piss while jabbering away self-importantly and loudly on their mobile phones. Christ.