I applied for a job that I have NO CHANCE of getting. It's a researchers job for the media. I've no qualifications or experience but I thought, fuck it, I've got no other options and I've had a can of coke and a packet of buttons, I'll apply anyway.
But I thought I'd tell the truth. The sugar drove me to it.
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER:
I hate my job
WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE PREVIOUS EMPLOYER:
No career progression. And I hated it.
My coca-cola, chocolate button fuelled moment of honesty ended like this...
WHAT LIFE EXPERIENCES DO YOU HAVE THAT YOU FEEL ARE RELEVANT TO THIS ROLE?
I've partaken in countless voluntary schemes, painting classrooms, erecting polytunnels, when travelling I worked in jobs from telesales to shifting furniture for the local Del Boy.
I volunteer as an aspirational mentor to two fourteen year old students at Chorlton High.
Since my dad died & my mother seemingly lost all her common sense, I've been the responsible one of the family.
No matter where I am, who I'm with, I always find a party to go to, I don't know how this is relevant but it shows I can smooth talk even the most houseproud into allowing relative strangers into their home, therein lies the talent.
Finally, brevity clearly not being a strong point, I'll finish with this. When I started high school I sat a test, I couldn't tell you what, the teachers saw the results but the students never did. Said test disappeared into the ether, I never thought about it after that. What I did think about though, as the years passed was how, despite the transition from inherent geek to a kid that tried to fit in through sloth & rebellion, I seemed to get away with it; no detentions, nothing. The day we left school the headteacher told me this test we'd sat led the staff to watch me intently, apparently to see what kind of genius I'd no doubt become. Needless to say they were disappointed, perhaps piqued for all the times they'd pointed me out to a governor & said "just you watch" & when they did indeed watch me they found nothing except a girl with a fine talent for fraudulent excuse notes & a healthy racket selling duty frees.
This story's working out to my detriment so far, I know this.
My point: I have enormous potential but if I'm not challenged, which I wasn't, I'm wasted & ultimately disappointing. If you challenge me, give me a chance, give me a role where I will actually be happy; this one, then I promise I will do you proud.
Think I'll get it?! :-D