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Thats fucking classic. And unsurprising.
or is it some chump pretending....
My personal favourites
# As I told my Jackson jokes tonight, I, and everyone in the audience, had tears streaming down their faces.
10:17 PM Jun 25th from txt
# Big show tonight at Spaceland, please come out, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE STABBINGS, most of those people won't be at the show this time.
3:44 PM Jun 28th from web
# Hi from Dublin! Tonight I was up against a U2 homecoming gig.Yet I still had a room full of sour faces, silence, booing, & refund requests.
4:16 PM Jul 24th from web
# Does anyone have the Dr Laura nude photos? I am trying to coax some rats out from under my motel bed.
1:38 PM Aug 14th from web
this guy rules too
"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."
I was thinking of starting a blog or something about things old(er) people say about new music. A bit like those Breakfast youtube videos where they made old dudes review Harvey Milk and stuff. Maybe not though.
Just that my dad came home one night and I had Emeralds playing on the house stereo (better bass, yeah) and he looked around quizzically and said "Why is the washing machine making that noise?"
"They were so unappealing!", "The whole thing sucked!", "It was very immature" - then the reject, "I liked it!" I keep meaning to play that track to my mum. My mum likes Moe Tucker and Bikini Kill and '60s girl-groups and shit, so I bet she'll be all over that hip shit.
"I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over."
"By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi." sounds like something my own father said when he was threatening to walk out on us just this week. He was like, "Yeah, when I move out you guys will have to move out too because I pay most of the mortgage. No homes for you! No homes for anyone!" He didn't walk. Shithouse.
# "Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies."12:24 PM Sep 5th from web
# "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"9:28 AM Sep 4th from web
# “You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a shit about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law."2:01 PM Sep 3rd from web
# "It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"1:12 PM Sep 2nd from web
The final one is my favorite. Sort of thing you kick yourself for not thinking up.
3rd joke in FOR THE WIN!