As a man, I would feel like the biggest faux-ass Rico Suave Reggaeton taint-scraper possible if I left the house wearing a smell that patently wasn't my own.

As a woman, it's even more confounding. What exactly is the idea? You wear perfume, a guy says "Mmm, you smell nice" - but it's not your real smell! Eventually it wears off and he has to accept that you only smelt nice temporarily, and now you're back to a mixture of BO and whatever chemicals go into Herbal Essences. And that's even if he notices and chooses to comment.

What is perfume at the end of the day other than an expensive lie that co-opts both the smellee and the smeller into an arcane social mos that involves one party covering themselves with something that came out of the bladder of a mongoose and the second party pretending that it will affect the relationship in a way that might otherwise have not occurred without it?

Also, the adverts are bad.

What's the deal?