I just read this earth-shattering news, and for a brief second, I thought I'd discovered what Mike Diver has been up to recently......
A research company has calculated the biscuit most likely to cause someone an injury during a tea or coffee break.
The custard cream was found to be the UK's most dangerous snack, on the basis of something called the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.
According to the Daily Telegraph, the research was carried out by Mindlab International at the request of the chocolate biscuit bar Rocky. Mike Driver, Marketing Director for Rocky said: "We commissioned this study after learning how many biscuit related injuries are treated by doctors each year."
Accidents have included people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit, falling off a chair while reaching for the tin, sustaining burns after dunking a biscuit in scalding tea, and being hit by fragments flying through the air.
Other people have reported choking on crumbs and damaging a tooth or filling on a particularly hard biscuit. One unlucky person ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.
Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis explained the background to the research.
"We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits," he said, "along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal."
According to Mindlab's calculations, here is the full list of the UK's riskiest biscuits, together with their 'danger' rating:
Custard Cream 5.64
Chocolate Biscuit Bar 4.12
Rich Tea 3.45
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Ginger Nut 2.99
Caramel Shortcake 2.76
Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16