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it is quite funny. Would you like to read some?
Swings and roundabouts, hey?
Phrase used to describe the unfortunate occurrence of extreme flaccidity inside a chap's grundies (for example following immersion in cold water) to the extent that his old man completely vanishes, leaving in its stead an empty crumpled, pile of skin resembling nothing so much as a small, pink walnut whip. With the wrinkly nuts dangling underneath it rather than on top. Shrinkage. From the scene in Star Wars where erstwhile Jedi Knight Sir Alec Guinness gets whacked with a neon tube by the Green Cross Man.
"Not tonight, Josephine, I've just got out of the swimming pool and I've got Obi-Wan's cape."
Descriptive of something very long.
'"Oh, what a tiny little man," laughed Verruca Salt as she saw the Oompa Lumpa. "He may be small," cautioned Mr. Wonka as he turned briskly on his heel, "but he'll have a cock as long as a docker's tea break." (From 'Charlie and the Chocolate Sandwich' by Roald Dahl)
An act of self-pollution performed in the shower with the left arm lodged firmly against the cubicle wall to prevent loss of balance.
1. v. In cricket, to build a long innings without worrying unduly about anyone else's best interests. "Boycott is a selfish cricketer, regularly occupying the crease with scant consideration for the needs of his team."
2. v. To pleasure one's missus orally. "Boycott is a selfish lover, seldom occupying the crease and showing scant consideration for the needs of his ladyfriend."
adj. Descriptive of a sexually-excited lady who is frothing like Bottled Bass. 'Septicaemmia was powerless to resist. His eyes burned into hers like 18-carrot diamond cut Moissanites. His muscular arms enfolded her body as she felt herself been swept away on an El Nino of passion. She could wait no longer. 'Take me now, Kendo', she panted 'Me cunt is as wet as Rod Hull's roof' (from 'The Lady and the All-In Wrestler' by Barbara Cartland)
my old office used to be filled with Viz goodies that we received as gifts, as their office was on the floor above ours, and we gave them a load of our drawing boards.
Flanders poppy (sim): A ringpiece that has been through the wars, ie. is bright red and shot to pieces.
Adam Ant, give her an v. To inscribe a white line across a lady's face using one's naughty paintbrush, in a style reminiscent of the briefly popular eighties pistol-waving dandy highwayman's makeup. To lob ropes over the bridge of a bird's nose.
is a favourite of mine.
Used to describe the state of a middle aged ladies beef curtains
'A Beadle'- shit hand in cards
Neopolitan Knickers -
The sight of a knickerless stripper's brown eye and pink eye as she turns her back on a chap and bends over. Named after the famous wonky-eyed half rice-half chips crooner David.