"Why do we get the one carpenter in Britain with a therapist?"

"Shut up about the Yardies, Jez. That's your answer for everything, the Yardies."

"You were raped, Mark. You are a rape victim."

"It's like lending someone less than a fiver - you can't ask for it back, not really."

"Mark, make sure they know we're playing the game, but that we don't need to play the game, because we've already won the game."

"Fuck me in the ass and pretend I'm your mom."