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1. People trying to haggle in charity shops
but very far away from it, then take your money and leave you in a strange town in the middle of the night in torrential rain because you don't have any money left to get to the correct destination.
bastard cabbie. he can fro for sure.
I did say this several times, but I had never been there before so didn't know where I was going either and he said he knew where it was. He kept telling me it was right despite my protests.
or destination, then htf are you meant to know whether it's the right way or not? And if it's a familiar area, then i nonetheless reserve the right to pass out in the back of a cab and not to have to stay awake to be the fucking navigator.
because they haven't got any change...I had one shout and swear at me because I tried to pay for a £4:50 ride with a tenner. This would never happen in a shop.
I say to them- look, either you keep enough of a float to be able to service your trade or you give me this ride for free/ rounded down. Because you're not keeping my fucking change! I honestly think some of these fucktards really do think that's what you're going to say. Oh dear, £7 fare, I've given you £20, hey, what's 13 quid between UTTER STRANGERS, just keep the change.
Scout, what have you unleashed within me?! The cab driver RAGE, hahaha!
i nearly cried
"A lot of London cabbies have to buy a cup of tea or buy a sandwich to get enough fivers in their hands to give out as change"
Chris Haines, London taxi driver
Excuse me, I have something in my eye...*sniff*
That's totally anal. Probably very sensible, and i applaud you in that respect, but even if it occured to me to do it, I know I still wouldn't.
and there comes a point where you have to decide to put a (larger than is strictly wise) amount of trust into the people that you rely on to get your business done. If I had to look up every destination I ever went to after midnight in a strage place, I wouldn't have a business. So yes, to me, it is a chore, but i'm a prolific risk taker and undoubtedly deserve to be dead several times over.
which, when sober, I will surely follow.
Oh no, please all stop having a go at me. I'm pretty sure he was in the wrong, not me!
I didn't know the street name this is true but I told him the building nextdoor to where I was going, it's a pretty well known one which he said he knew, and when he finally let me out after some bickering he refused to take me back without me paying all over again. I wouldn't have voluntarily have got out in the wrong place, I had no choice. And he didn't seem the type to argue with any further to be honest!
Friend says: 'Get a cab to Dave Street'
Me: 'Ok. Dave Street please driver!'
Taxi man: 'Here you are!'
Me, in a park: 'Hmm'.
Because he will. That's what friends do. They have no idea of the surrounding geography of anything. Especially Dave Street. Especially me.
If the driver has no idea, he shouldn't have taken her in the first place.
that's what male friends do
It's why I'm not friends with any women. I like the adventure.
What pub are we meeting in?
The Anchor. Know it?
Nope. Where is it?
London, somewhere? Near a road I think.
Right, I'm on my way.
but bastard driver said "no, no, I definitely know it"
What an idiothole!
who don't know where the fuck they're going within london. if one was going way out to zone 6 or something, they could be forgiven for needing to check a map, but a cabbie dropped me somewhere in clapton after driving back and forth for 10 minutes trying to find the address, meter ticking [he refused to turn it off even after i suggested that we'd retraced our steps more than 3 times]. in the end i left out of sheer frustration and just found the place on foot by myself. in the middle of a lovely dark housing estate in a bit of london i know shit all about. greaaat. missed the band i had gone to see because of him, too. what a cunt. if they don't have the knowledge they shouldn't be driving a black cab.
it seemed prudent.
my ex left me on my own and i had to find my way back to the house we were staying at. i had no idea where i was going, was completely blocked and had about £3 to my name.
a taxi man drove me about for the guts of an hour, all over Belfast with me in the front asking did i recognise this? recognise that? pointing at buildings and streets, we eventually got there and he took the £3 and told me not to worry.
<3 that man. id of been completely fucked if he hadnt of done that.
so release your inner bitch and try a new post, ta
(rolled up a3 paper type art)
4. No-one. Everyone is lovely. :)
after reading your censorship post you're not allowed to say that
Especially you. :)
i'm probably not allowed to fuck her, but is she anyway?
hmmm, this wasn't funny in my head either.
Hairdressers who make small talk
I dont care where you live, or where you come from. I just want my hair cut properly.
I found one recently who makes NONE. And she cut my hair pretty well too. This NEVER happens when women get their hair cut. Best hairdresser ever.
She's awesome. That's the kind of hairdresser you want to find.
I like small talk when it suits me (ha, how mean). Hairdressers seem to feel obliged to have small talk in order to get a good tip and to get you coming back.
She got a tip and I'll go back because a) she was good and b) she didn't talk.
This one was chavvy and greek and started singing along to chico-time
The worst thing was that she didnt even listen to me
I started telling her what to do, and she just said "ill give you a haircut that suits your face *Stupid chavvy smile*"
I now look like a dirty cop
I hate being rude but I just don't want to talk! He is very good at his job as well. I look wicked.
message me for his name and location!
<NOT THAT I'M TALKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE> a break-up) happens and then, when you (truthfully) say, 'no really, I'm fine, it's for the best', then pat your hand whilst nodding sagely like a fucking Iknowbetterthanyou cunt.
If they're not careful.
if you are reading this, im going to kill you at the next stop
stuff like that
what I try to do is calculate when they are about three quarters of the way through the bit I think they are reading then turn over to the next page.
that simply says 'cunt'
to be raised whenever you feel someone looking
seriously? piss off, we don't even work in the same area, and i certainly do not have time to train your stupid arse right now, i've got posting to do.
boy, am i going to make his team look shit in the stats tomorrow.
and their discussion this morning about tannoy announcements on trains.
what was said?
Tannoy is a brand name.
Person 1: Coventry HAVE won the FA cup, with that Keith Houchen diving header remember!
Person 2: Well at least I didn't listen to Led Zeppeling (mispronunciation left in) for a year
People who put unnecessary d's on the end of words 'demond'
Anyone who thinks Lee Bowyer is 'alright' bloke
With you on unnecessary Ds. Those people need to be wasted.
sorry guys, couldn't resist.
but I'm not fucking off anywhere
I have two dogs <hands on hips in semi-fury>
2. People who have no self-control
3. Joey Barton
5. Lying scumbag deadbeats
6. People who carry knives
7. Animal abusers
9. Condescending/patronising fuckers
10. Persistent bullshitting bastards
12. Hustling rudeboi drivers
13. People on speed
14. Shit dealers
15. Exuberantly flouncy gay people (there is no need)
16. People who have terrible hygiene in office environments
17. People that don't pick up their dog's shit
18. Police that break the law
19. People who spend 10 minutes at the cash machine checking their balance
"Psst? Want to buy some shit? It's fresh, number 17's dog did it five minutes ago."
haha, I mean shit drug dealers that promise "mega import bud mate" or "fucking banging prang" etc... Not the dealers of faecal matter if such people exist, if they do then surely they would be selling bat guano or dung beetle balls presumably.
well, the majority anyway.
There's nothing that irks me more than those that cannot appreciate the intimacy of their surroundings - and as such, this is easily applicable to all shared spaces where space is a shard commodity, such as lifts, offices and airplanes.
This courtesy should extend to all the five human senses. And as such, excessive smells, uncompromising space-hogs, mobile phone users/mobile stereo daemons, the repugnant unwashed and ugly people (running out of ideas), are all unwelcome.
1. get on before everyone else has got off;
2. sit in the aisle seat and get huffy when you ask if the window seat is free;
3. use up seats with their luggage;
4. yak on about their lives as such high volume that they must just assume that everyone else is dying to know what they did in patagonia / tuscany etc
When you see them and get asked the same questions: How are you?
What you doing now? Do you still see anyone from school?
There is a reason i dont talk to you.
It's not a fucking ride.
- if in heels
- if tired/hungover
mortal fear of death by really fucking painful metal injuries you see
even though they don't know you.
Colleagues with BO - wash, dirty cunts.
and all the survivors are raiding the abandoned shops.