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following on from this:
tell me about the temps that you've worked with and their strange ways.
They probably don't do them any more: they were a little cylinder of Evian, much like you'd get a little deoderant and you were meant to use it to 'mist' your face. WTF?
She would come into work then spend 15 minutes at her desk re-doing her makeup. She'd only answer the phones if one of us other two conscientious temps were too busy answering the phones and generally she seemed to feel that work was one of those things that happens to other people and her life of leisure was being unfairly intruded on by having to do it.
I really hate lazy temps. Always have. If you're doing a job fucking DO it. Have some pride in yourself.
*thinks about maybe logging in to work*
In fact I think it was a pump action. Absolutely bonkers.
Sod pump action though. CFCs all the way!
All i do is go on DiS. All day! Good eh!
had about four conversations with me in the month he was with us, and once I did a presentation that followed on from one he did. That was our only contact.
On his last day he invited everyone to the pub, but I was out of office
I returned the next day to find the batshit mental weirdo had left a bottle of wine on my desk in one of those shiny gift bags, with a "great working with you, sorry you missed the drinks yesterday, hope this makes up for it!" tag on the handle.
He was non-alcoholic too so apparently spent those hurried uncomfortable "drinks" with three other people sitting in uncomfortable near silence.
After he left he said he was going to turn to teaching people about hedge fund management, which is obviously a great career move at the moment.
ages ago to help with a mailout, "can you do mail merges, great here's the one page letter, here's the database of a few hundred names, envelopes, I'll come and give you a hand later and give me a shout if there's any problems", all good. A couple of hours later, I check in and she's used up about ten boxes of expensive company headed paper, there's a stack of things she's printed with about two lines on each page and she's put them into envelopes... I could have cried...
i've seen grown men weep trying to build a pivot table
Many of the temp jobs I've had have involved me being given a woefully short and incomprehensive set of instructions and told to 'give someone a call if i have problems' which i inevitably do because I haven't been properly told what to do. So after a few days of constantly having to call the person to ask what to do they seem to think they've hired a moron!
Example: My current job, i was 'trained' by a cretin who's job i've taken over from. She was fully trained for 2 weeks, i sat with her for a morning and then left to my own devices with a frequently engaged number to call for any problems. So naturally i make mistakes because i just havent been told what to do, then i get stick for it when its not my fault. sucks penis it does
we had large mailouts to do to members of the university's governing body (fairly important people) with minutes, appendices etc. The temp who was helping with this decided to do so while eating a massive slice of chocolate cake that she got everywhere. Quite funny in hindsight.
and would spend all day printing off CVs and posting photos of herself to acting agencies. She got a tiny, tiny role in Shameless, slapping Carl Gallagher in the face as part of a montage of slaps off different girls he might have given an STD to, and wouldn't shut up about it. "I'm hoping they like me and decide to bring me back as a main character."
She was mental. She used to write a diary on scraps of paper, which someone found when she left. She claimed to have a stalker, but she kept encouraging him by answering the phone to him and telling him when she changed her number. She'd quit her previous temp job to avoid paying a massive phone bill she'd run up - amazingly, they took her back after she agreed to pay it.
So i spent my dayd printing off glossy colour A3 prints of arty band posters and huge rasterbated artwork that ive since decorated my house with. thanks specsavers!