"The Defence Systems Equipment International (DESI) exhibition will take place 8 – 11 September 2009. Preparations for the event will start from 1 September. Access routes will be clearly marked out and, where appropriate, manned by security staff or the police ...you will need to have your ID badge on you at all times."

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Pole dancing on Russian tanks! Gold-plated Drug-Lord Pistols! Middle-Eastern Oligarchs with hookers laid on by the MoD gazing longingly at SAM turrets. I reckon it would be pretty easy to blag a ticket. Just wear a black suit, pretend someone important is speaking to you through an ear-piece and walk in the door like it's normal. What could possibly go wrong?