I'm in early, so my turn.
The Football League kicks off the season, with Sheffield United and Middlesbrough sharing a 0-0 draw. The right result from what I saw - neither side created too much.
Cardiff go top, celebrating their first competitive game at their new ground with a 4-1 win over Scunthorpe while Coventry, Derby and Leicester are the only other sides to pick up three points in the Championship. Newcastle do better than many expected, picking up a point and showing some fighting spirit in their 1-1 draw at West Brom.
In League 1, the headlines are all about Carrow Road, where striker Nigel Holt apologises after Norwich capitulate 7-1 to Colchester. Schoolboy defending doesn't even come close. Gillingham put five past Swindon to go second, a brace from Beckford earns Leeds victory and Southampton move up to -9 points with a 1-1 draw at St. Marys.
League 2 saw favourites Notts County take an early lead with a 5-0 win over Bradford, while Burton Albion get a rude awakening in their first league game with a 3-1 defeat by Shrewsbury in which they never looked like coming away with something.
Mansfield go top of the Conference by beating Crawley while Chester City's game with Grays is called off at the 11th hour over wrangling between the Conference and FA. Stalybridge head up Conference North and Dorchester make the early running in Conference South where Bath City nearly came back from a 4-0 deficit to draw.
Away from the competitive stuff, the Charity Shield appears to have seen tempers fray yet again, with Ferguson suggesting that there was a foul and should have been a red card in the build up to Chelsea's second goal. Chelsea won on penalties while all United come away with is an injury to Nani.
North of the Border, all kinds of problems continue to be caused by Livingston's situation, with a late relegation to Division Three and their subsequent refusal to play. Ross County are unaffected by their late change in opposition and head up Division One.
Rumour has it that Martin O'Leary is lined up for the Newcastle job, where rumours of a rift between Joey Barton and caretaker manager Chris Houghton are played down.
Marouane Chamakh agitates for a move to Arsenal.
Some other dull transfer rumours no doubt continue. Thank fuck the season's started.