I finally get around to lending and playing Fallout 3. I play and enjoy the opening segments set in the vault.
I got out into the DC wastelands. "Wow, what a well-rendered post-apocalyptic landscape, etc". Got to Megaton. To find out where my asshole dad is (the dad who abandoned me to die in an underground bunker, the dad who lied to me ((apparently)) about everyone being born in the vault, the dad who I now have to track across a dangerous post-apocalyptic wasteland for reasons which I don't understand). Get told I have to bribe some wanker who owns a saloon to learn more. Not to worry. Oh, wait, I don't have any "caps". Not to worry - I'll simply sell some items at the general store. Oh, wait, the woman in the general store wants me to go to some stupid fucking super duper mart for reasons I don't understand. She will pay me 300 "caps" for doing this. Which I will then end up spending in her store.
I talk to a whore who says she can help me out. Guess what? She wants "caps" too. Not to worry, I will instead detonate the nuke in the town square to get some "caps" from a bad guy I met a few moments ago. Oh, hey, whaddaya know? I don't have enough "experience" at engineering/explosives to detonate the nuke. Ah, well, not to worry. I will instead talk to the preacher near the nuke. He tells me precisely fuck all of use. Not to worry, as I've now met a plumber who says in return for helping him fix some leaks he will pay me some "caps". I head off and locate a leak. Oh, no, I don't have enough "experience" to fix the leaks. Oh, dear.
I still don't have any "caps", either. Okay, not to worry. I head back to the saloon because I'm bored and my patience is wearing thin. Hey, what's this? A locked metal box hidden in a backroom in the saloon? I shall pick it and steal whatever I find. Oh, wait, somehow a dude sat in a room three floors above me, er, saw me do it. Now the whole village wants to kill me for stealing from a guy they told me not five seconds before they all hated. Not to worry, I have a gun. I take careful aim at point blank range at the head of the first cunt through the door. I shoot him five times in the head AT POINT BLANK RANGE. And...nothing. He keeps coming.
I calmly eject the game from the 360 and throw it out of my fucking window. I manage to get myself under control just in time to avoid stamping on the Xbox. I simmer. I brood. I have to explain to my cousin why his beloved Fallout 3 is now so many twinkling fragments of plastic stuck in the tires of a passing lorry. I come to a conclusion:
I fucking fucking fucking hate this fucking fucking game and whoever said it was anywhere near the greatest game of this gen is a fucking fucking FUCKING CUNT.
That is all.