Boards
I had a MASSIVE argument with my parents this morning
Am i wrong to be annoyed?
this is what happened
(information you might find useful: i no longer have a car so my parents offered to give me lifts to and from work)
I finished last night at 2130hrs and as i was about to phone home my mate said he'd bring me back so i took the offer to save my parents the hassel. I got home and no one was in, nor did they leave a note (which is quite odd for my family to do) i then waited 1 hour and tried to phone them and my mum didn't answer and dad's went to voicemail. I then waited until midnight and they hadn't come home. I went to bed leaving a note saying 'thanks for letting me know where you went, lucky i managed to get a lift home really! i was worried because you didn't leave a note. i have work at 8am and i will need a lift - chris'
this morning my mum said she doesn't appreciate that kind of note or behaviour and said i should mind my own business....upon arguing my case my dad said 'you're out of order, shut up' to which i replied 'i really don't think so, you're out of order and please don't tell me to shut up'
That conversation took place this morning at about 0745hrs. I haven't spoken to them since..
Also it's my birthday tomororw and i'm going to be stubborn enough to ruin the whole day to prove i'm right. I don't care what it takes......this is the right thing to do yeah?
your parents are being massive gayers
well, the note was a bit sarcy, but really not that bad. let it blow over. maybe.
i wont
not until they apologise or at least see where i'm coming from....it's annoying...for me it's ruined byu birthday because if they don't say anything tonight, tomorrow when they say happy birthday i'll just say 'yeah thanks' and tell them i'm not bothered about birthday's when really i quite like them
i'm rude to my parents all the time
they just need to get used to it
Why the hell are your parents angry?
If it was the other way around, then I bet they would have been pissed. Also when you have kids, you pretty much give up your right to have a private life. You're their son, you are entitled to know where they are. This kind of shit always happens before your birthday. Just ignore them, stay out with friends all day and don't tell them where you're going.
that's what i'm going to do
i'm going to get obliterated tonight so tomorrow i don't even know who i am....
TWO RONGZ DONT MAKETH A RITE Christopher.
Maybe they're planning something AMAZING for you brithday
and don't want you to suspect anything... whoops.
highly unlikely
I doubt they could leave a note saying that they are going to a swingers party to be fair.
no, the only swingers party where i live is where i work
chris' parents up a tree
s-w-i-n-g-i-n-g
first comes oral
then comes anal
then comes the gangbang
for that filthy damsel
this rhyme took me at least 4 and half minutes to dream up
where is the love?
good thread
bit childish
That's hilarious, most polite argument of all time
'You're out of order, shut up.'
'I really don't think so, you're out of order and please don't tell me to shut up.'
I say you swollow yr pride
and offer a conceding smile followed by hug.
Just don't start crying.
when they give you a birthday cake punch it really hard
you're being silly chris
your parents don't have to tell you where they're going. they're giving you lifts as a favour, you shouldn't take it for granted. there could be any number of reasons for them not being home last night / not answering their phones and you probably should mind your own business like your mum says!x
mind my own business???
so what i'm not supposed to be a part of my parent's lives anymore??
if i didn't get a lift i would have had to walk for an hour to get home last night in only swim shorts and a shirt.
yeah, mind your own business!
your parents don't have to tell you where they've been or what they've been doing! ok yeah they're agreed to pick you up and hadn't called you to let you know they wouldn't be but chris you're 19, you've just been travelling - surely you could make your own way home. in this thread you're coming across as really childish and taking your folks for granted.
I'm with Chris on this one Em
I can see where you're coming from, and to a degree agree with it. But at the same time if you've made an agreement with someone (never mind your own family!) to give them lifts to and from work cos they can't drive themselves and it's an hour journey each way without a car, then I think it's pretty acceptable to get a bit pissed off if they then left you in the lurch (as Chris would have been if his mate hadn't stepped in), and not even give you an explanation.
I will concede however, that perhaps the note was somewhat unnecessary.
It's like this in my house sometimes, if the folks agree to do me a favour and then 'forget' to do it, I'm supposed to just deal with it. If it's the other way round, I don't get to hear the end of it for about 3 days. Drives me mental sometimes.
sure, they could've let him know they couldn't make it
but maybe something urgent came up. and he is 19 afterall and quite capable of making alternate arrangements no doubt. they're doing a huge favour giving lifts all the time.
Fair point.
The more this thread is going on, the more I'm siding with the parents I've got to say.
How was your twee night?
oh i has such an awesome night thanks
but had the worst hangover ever today! and i need to sleep soon
Okay UPDATE!
I just had dinner with them and they asked me why i was annoyed and if someone has upset me so i said 'yeah you two have and explained the whole thing' and they then said 'yeah well you were out of order' so i said 'i still don't think i was' and then my dad had the audacity to say 'well i hope you're going to draw a line under this now' so i didn't reply, quite taken aback by what he said....as if i should let it go right?? it's like letting them win! then my mum said 'c'mon son it's your birthday tomorrow' trying to bribe me with a pleasant day......i remained quiet, but was very near saying 'i'd quite happily sacrifice having a good day for my 19th birthday and stick by my principles'....but i didn't...maybe i should have.
Did he really say "Well I hope you're going to draw a line under this now"
That's incredible, I can't imagine dialogue like that occurring in real life
yeah he did....
he's a barrister, comes out with all sorts honestly
I think that you now have to show some officer material
and instead find out WHY they think that you were out of order, it would be horrible if you al had an argument and it was just exagerrated cos of misinterpretations.
I think that you have to understand why they think that you are out of order (that doesnt mean backing down, it just means qualifying their feelings) the only thing that i can see might be their reasons might be
a) there was some sarcasm in the note (some people react very badly to sarcasm
b) they might have gone to pick you up anyway ? but got miffed at the note so have decided to be stubborn and not tell you
c) have accepted that you might want to be a soldier and that they have to let go of many worries about you so find it a bit rich you being worried about them
d) they might consider that they are doing you a great favour giving you lifts and putting you up
e) you've just come back from india where they themselves have had to 'stay' their worries and fears over your well being
of course i appreciate that
a) you were worried
b) they left no indication of where they were going (although you didnt et them know you were getting a lift back (perhaps they would have been in at this time?
c) you havnt been too bad in your note (although i dont know how you normally talk to your parents)
d) They shouldnt just say you were out of order without explaing why they think that you were out of order
e) they should explain why they think that your note was not justified
f) if they want to get angry with you they should really explain where they have been (it could backfire if something serious has happened, and could leave you with egg on your face if it turns out one of their best freinds has been killed/knocked down/taken seriously ill etc)
basically from what you have said neither party needs to hurt the other or themselves with such animosity.
Best of luck in resolution
PS sorry if i seemed to put more possible reasons for thier being angry or whatever, but i can only talk to you, not them.
Pps allowing yourself to forgive always feels better than you think it will, although you feel at the time (when miffed) that it wont and that its better to stick to principles.
You should have said:
"i have work at 8am and i will need a lift, please".
Bit of common courtesy.
My parents tend to get defensive when it seems
im trying to draw an apology from them after proving them wrong on something, thats when i see them as human and give up on it and say something like 'ooo whats for dinner?'
all is well again.
This seems surreal
I had an arguement with my mam this morning and she threw some cardigans at me whilst I called her an unsufferable dickhead, then she threatened to kick me out and I shouted YOU STILL GET PAID TO KEEP ME, MUMSIE.
This was only cos I never washed up a plate, too.
The only bit of your not that seems OUTOFORDER is the blast bit, but hey don't worry about it. Just do sulking for a bit and they'll get you a nice cake or something.
*last not blast
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?
You stupid monkey ;)
...please dont tell me to shut up
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
AAAAAAARGH MY FACE MY BEAUTIFUL FACE
thats what you get for backchat
okay then, Adrian Mole
HARDEN THE FUCK UP!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EY7lYRneHc
They were out of order, simple as.
The sad but true fact about most parents is they get away with never admitting that they're wrong. Suggest you don't even bother getting them to try. Just remind 'em of it five years later :)
That old 'but why' 'because I said' thing my mum used to pull on me as a kid used to ENRAGE me. Partly why I still call her mommie dearest to this day (film reference to film about Joan Crawford being a rotten adoptive mum).
Anyway my advice is to let it lie. They'll be sucking up to you tomorrow.
if you don't like it, move out.
i've followed that simple rule since the age of 18, and i've only tried to kill myself twice since then. fantastic results.
i guess your parents coulda left a message, but i wouldnt have written the sarcastic note, you probably should have just told them in person you werent happy about it.
You should get the bus to and from work
rather than relying on your parents maybe...
Oh and they were probably off sorting out a surprise birthday party for you or something when you couldnt find em...
Seriously... you're EIGHTEEN
You don't need to know where your parents are or what they're doing on an evening. You got a lift home so there isn't a problem. You're complaining about something that didn't happen, which is ridiculous. I don't know where you live, but surely there's some alternate way of getting home from work? No? If they hadn't been in would you be completely stranded? That doesn't matter anyhow.
Maybe they went out instead because you're totally ungrateful, and don't seem to realise that they're doing you a favour - look at the end of your message, demanding a lift from them - that's very rude and inappropriate. If I was treated with that sense of entitlement I sure wouldn't put up with it. When you want something for your benefit, you ask nicely. And ideally do something for them in return. They have no obligation to do something like that. Maybe they didn't know it was needed, maybe they just forgot. And if that was the case, maybe they would have apolgised if they'd come home and not found such a rude message.
There's no excuse for being a brat at 18. Grow up.
I think the main issue is
is that him and his parents had an agreement which they then broken and they didn't apologise, respecting an agreement is something everyone should do regardless of their relationship to you, it's simple courtesey.
He could have been more polite but to be fair, when you're in a mood you don't necessarily make the best decisions. Of course they don't have any obligation to do things for him but the point is they offered.
I don't entirely disagree with you but I think you're being overly harsh.
*which they then broke
I think an apology would have been appropriate
if he'd have been vaguely mature about it. He didn't, and was disrespectful. I certainly wouldn't expect an apology if I behaved in such a rude manner.
Why are people even discussing this? It's totally moronic.
Actually, no
Given the situation, he didn't suffer at all or lose out on anything. So an apology isn't needed at all.
so if you broke an agreement
you wouldn't apologise?
If it had absolutely no effect whatsoever
then I still probably would, but it's not needed, and I wouldn't be in the least bit bothered by not receiving one. It caused absolutely no problems.
that's just a matter of personal preference
Chris's example is probably not the best due to his response but to be honest anyone would be justified justified in feeling wronged by someone going back on the terms of a agreement.
if neither group apologises
then you'd end up in something of a stalemate which is what appears to have happened, and then in that particular instance it's down to one group to show perhaps a little more grace and maturity, something that I'd imagine but not necessarily expect the parents to be slightly more familiar with.
No, that's just letting someone have their way
He's not a child, however much he might act like one. His parents no longer have any obligations towards him. They do things because they choose to. In the same way, he's living there by choice, so these things aren't the parents' responsibility to sort out. It's not really appropriate to apologise to somebody who's been so rude to you anyhow.
Though, to be fair, Chris acts very young for his age, and is clearly a brat, so it might be appropriate for him to be treated like a child.
of course they're not the parents resposibility
but they offered. I wouldn't offer something if I knew I couldn't follow through with it.
As for apologising to someone being rude to you, that's what I mean by showing grace it's not really about acting at the same level as the person you're having a disagreement with.
The thing is, Chris has rather turned the main issue on it's head.
Demanding that you're informed of where your parents are going is pretty inappropriate. They aren't responsible to him, and implying they are was never going to have a good outcome.
It's time to split the two issue's and accept that the phrasing of the note was open to misinterpretation Chris. You can then address the issue of the lift, but bear in mind that it was a favour and they can retract any future offers.
Sparks are going to be flying tomorrow then
;)
The way I go about these things is
Its my parents. It doesn't matter who is in the right. I buy a bunch of flowers and a card and apologise. They usually admit any wrongdoing on their part after that.
I don't really care about winning an arguement if its with my mum :S
slow news day..
What i want to know, is
who's going to play you in the screen adaptation?
thanks for the responses
it's just a thing for principle for me and i'm quite stubborn i know. but good to see a few sides...it's helping me understand the whole situation a bit more...cheers
Happy birthday chris_is_cool!
My two cents.
So you live at your parents...rent free im guessing?
They are your taxi service.
You get a lift off someone else when your parents normally pick you up without letting them know you have made over travel arrangements so they may think you have been abducted or something. They come back to the note and think "damn, this freeloading little shit is back again."
Then you bitch and moan to them and give updates on here about how everything is going.
Climb up the nearest tree and shit on them if you have such a problem you spoiled brat. In my day i had to walk bare footed in the snow for three hours to get home and pay all the money i made from work to my parents to sleep on a bed of hay and eat scraps of food.
in my day
it was a 9 mile walk to work, and if I was lucky, communication with da' was a cuff round the ear, not a belt round the thighs
happy birthday little lord
This is cringey.
Man up. Jesus.
MIDDLE CLASS EMERGENCY!
I don't understand all the crap Chris is getting in this thread
yeah, he shouldn't have left such an arsey note, but his parents said they'd pick him up and instead went back on their word. Parents don't have a right to be inconsiderate just because they've brought you up.
But he got a lift anyway.
And its hardly a 'massive arguement'. He should be grateful he gets the lifts in the first place.
P.s get off the social board. It'll make you a massive loser again...
seems like your travelling gave you a nice sense of perspective
and maturity
God it must be a slow news day if people are bumping this thread.
"Gimme that paper Ignatius, we gonna take a look at them want ads."..
"Is that true?" Ignatius thundered.
"Am I going to be thrown out again into the abyss? Apparently you have bowled all the charity out of your soul. I must have at least a week in bed, with service, before I shall again be whole"
This is fascinating.
Glad I don't have arsey kids whining about. Get the fucking internet to give you a lift.
Fuck's sake Chris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo