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I've genuinely never found one of these funny.
Have you? What's your favourite?
Mum joke me up.
Your mum's so fat, when she wore an X-Files t-shirt a helicopter tried to land on her.
As you can guess, I've been using that one for a while.
don't helicopters generally try and land on an H?
What popular 90s TV show has a big H logo?
Cracks me up every time.
Picked her up, fingered her three times, threw her down a dark alley. She still came back!
she's got watches on both wrists that need to be set to different time zones.
See, this is why mum jokes are great.
I'm guessing they have to have.
she once planted cheerios thinking they were donut seeds.
When she told me her weight, I thought it was her phone number.
she sold your car for petrol money.
that she sits next to everyone at the cinema.
when she went to sleep at the beach, she got blown up.
Your mum's so stupid, when she got locked in the supermarket she starved to death.
She jumped out a window and fell up.
Her house has stretch marks
She jumped in the air and got stuck
She fell in love and broke it.
she comes in a room and mice jump on chairs
Your mum's so fat she burned her arse on the lightbulb
Your mum's so fat she's risking contracting serious medical conditions such as type-2 diabetes and coronary disease.
she sweats lard.
her BMI is well over 30.
Your Mum as a retort to absolutely anything = the funniest thing anyone can ever say
who slept with one of his mates from home's sister one night. He'd win absolutely any argument with this guy, no matter what it was on and how ridiculous his argument was, by simply replying "yeah... but I fucked your sister".
Even through the palpable tension I could tell that "your mum", although still hilarious, would never quite do it for me again.
some people's mothers are dead
it's not really a joke though, just a really sad and painful story :(
I don't know why this is so funny!
that's the only one i can remember.
Yo mamma's so dumb she sat on the TV and watched the couch
that when i took her home last night i has to shag her armpit because i couldn't find her cunt for the flab
she sits AROUND the house.
- your mum's so fat that when she sat on the rainbow, skittles popped out
-your mum's like a hardware store, she charges 10p a screw
-your mum's so old she cut the ribbon at stone henge
-your mum's so fat it took me two trains and a bus to get on her good side
-your mum's armpits are so hairy it looks like she has a hippy in a head lock!
that's all i can remember!
Your mum's so hairy, when you were born you got rugburn.