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This one is fantastic:
Evidence for it becoming some sort of satirical hoax is growing by the week.
in that they're very much responsible for this panic that they're now condemning
One of the commenters said "... but will it give me cancer or not?"
There's a site somewhere on the web with a complete encyclopedia on whether things will give you cancer or not, annotated with site links - everything from coffee to immigrants.
I now have another Daily Mail link in my browser history. I hate myself.