'oh thanks michael_w'

'hang on michael_w....it's not actually you bir....'

'what?...'

'it's not actually your actual....'

'don't you dare fucking say it'

'...birthday is it?'

'you bastard. you absolute fucking bastard. you've fucking ruined my birthday now haven't you?'

'yeah but it's not actu....'

'don't you fucking dare do it'

'..al birthday is it? that was in march. remeber? you mum got you a new bike and some trainers and a cake of a knight'

'well that's a lie.....i got all those charlie chaplin dvd's'

'HA....see....it isn't your birthday today'

'fuck'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL_w!!!