MY SPACE: Ghost town with a dwindling population of posers and behind the curve late adopters.

BEBO: Illiterate chavs from the celtic fringes and that's it.

FACEBOOK: Everyone has got 'Hug my friendly zombie whilst stroking my Mexican pig in the creepy castle in order to ascertain which 1980s film star you are in the send your friend a cocktail whilst poking people you barely know in the vain hope that they'll join your virtual prohibition era Chicago-esque organised crime syndicate and discover your porn star name' fatigue.

TWITTER: Just shit. 'Juzt ordrd pint of carling at bar but ment to ordr fossters....randum!!!!11 LOL'. Die cunts die.