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Help! I caught my dad with my GF

ham_and_cheese [Edit] [Delete] 134 replies 13:06 July 12th, 2009

I've had my GF for 2 years now (practically lives with me) - small white, petite thing, cooks for me, always been good to me.

I go away on holiday for a week, come back and something just doesn't seem right. I asked my dad if he had seen anything happen with my GF and he acts clueless.

So fast forward to 3 weeks later... I'm coming home from work when BAM clear as day, right in my Kitchen I catch my father red handed with his meat in my GF.

I was PISSED, told him to get his meat out of GF and GTFO, needless to say my GF got turned off. I just couldn't get over it and that night kicked my GF to the curb.

Now it's been 2 weeks since the incident and that I've been without my GF and about 10 minutes ago my dad had the audacity to ask my how my GF has been, when he's the damn reason we ain't together no more.

Should I get off the computer and start swinging at him?

Pack my stuff and be on my way.

Here's pics of my GF for you lot as I know you'll ask.

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/3034/85743524.jpg

View NestedLinear

http://www.facepalm.org/img.php

moousee | 12 Jul '09, 13:08 | X | ^ This | Reply

Joseph_SP this'd this
- Hi everyone from Stumbleupon!
  
  You gaggle of cunts!
  
  ma0sm @moousee | 18 Apr '13, 21:44 | X | ^ This | Reply
http://sadtrombone.com

cowcow | 12 Jul '09, 13:08 | X | ^ This | Reply
www.fmylife.com

brusma | 12 Jul '09, 13:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
well i laughed

:D

tobythecat | 12 Jul '09, 13:15 | X | ^ This | Reply
:D

Well played sir, well played.

DangerousSnails | 12 Jul '09, 13:18 | X | ^ This | Reply

Georgie_fruit this'd this
:D

justanothersheeldz | 12 Jul '09, 13:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
Oh my!

:D

whacksiddy | 12 Jul '09, 13:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
this took a second to click but massive :D

harman_kardon | 12 Jul '09, 13:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
oh my

i was on the phone when i opened that and i had to excuse myself whilst i rofled.

Jordan_229_2 | 12 Jul '09, 13:44 | X | ^ This | Reply
10/10

shucks | 12 Jul '09, 13:55 | X | ^ This | Reply
Copypasta but damn good copypasta

Jook | 12 Jul '09, 14:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
brilliant

sophiacherryx | 12 Jul '09, 14:51 | X | ^ This | Reply
- UNBELIEVABLE JEFF
  
  rob_heath | 12 Jul '09, 15:02 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  niallKP and politelydeclined this'd this
- :-D
  
  citizenmeh | 12 Jul '09, 17:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Oh very very funny
  
  Took me a sec, but very good :D
  
  Schadenfreude | 12 Jul '09, 18:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
- GENIUS!
  
  i'm gonna make this a sticky thread and everything
  
  sean | 12 Jul '09, 22:12 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  -Raz- this'd this
  - http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=%22small+white%2C+petite+thing%2C+cooks+for+me%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a
    
    Come on!
    
    Jook @sean | 12 Jul '09, 22:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - CHEER UP JOOK!
      
      DangerousSnails @Jook | 12 Jul '09, 22:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - BAH!
      
      ham_and_cheese @Jook | 13 Jul '09, 10:43 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - http://sadtrombone.com
    
    cowcow @sean | 12 Jul '09, 22:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - sean, are you drunk?
    
    marckee @sean | 12 Jul '09, 22:25 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - I heard Emily Haines was in town
      
      Royter-Hatfood @marckee | 12 Jul '09, 22:32 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - nah, shes a crackhead
        
        Alex_b @Royter-Hatfood | 16 Jul '09, 14:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
- lol
  
  poptimusgrime | 12 Jul '09, 22:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
- oh, sean
  
  whiterussian | 12 Jul '09, 23:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  cowcow and iamwiggy this'd this
- am i the only one who didnt really find this very funny?
  
  meths | 13 Jul '09, 10:47 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  Van_Gok_Wan this'd this
  - Nope.
    
    bamos @meths | 13 Jul '09, 10:48 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    chuff, Judge_B, Royter-Hatfood, DanielKelly, cyberdemon, fake_blood, less_than_zero, Dicko, alari, ladyoftheflowers, sharp_yet_blunt, Lofisongsaregreat, greatallgreat, fealey, nymeria, chiaroscuro, Baron_Von_Kevin, Nestor, wrightylew, pretty_vacant, JGJug, subbero, disinfected, Silentcommand, moker, mac_daddy, sadpunk, packageholiday, samganners, Piwi, hedgehog, Sophiesmom, automatik, m-dizzle, harman_kardon, thewarn, Oh_Shangri-La, and hibster this'd this
  - yes
    
    CDuck202 @meths | 12 Mar '11, 16:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    shrewbie this'd this
- How much planning did this take???!!!!
  
  Genius.
  
  edgar_allan_poe | 13 Jul '09, 21:05 | X | ^ This | Reply
- I found this funny.
  
  But, I am extremely immature.
  
  Luis_Carruthers | 13 Jul '09, 21:44 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Funniest thing I've ever seen on this site
  
  Well done, that man !
  
  CiderEagle | 14 Jul '09, 12:45 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Naturally my GF was turned off,
  
  Well, naturally.
  
  bob_saull | 14 Jul '09, 12:51 | X | ^ This | Reply
- I don't get it.
  
  Verbal | 14 Jul '09, 12:57 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - It's okay, I pointed it out to people I work with
    
    and they sat reading it for about a half hour before turning round and asking me why I'd tell them my girlfriend was shagging my dad. Not one of them got it, dumb fucks.
    
    lovelessrapture @Verbal | 14 Jul '09, 13:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I don't get why it's funny
    
    DanielKelly @Verbal | 14 Jul '09, 13:39 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - seaney's stickying of it was funneh
      
      cowcow @DanielKelly | 14 Jul '09, 13:41 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - maybe it needed a better pic
    
    This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26F5wwl8k9E
    
    ham_and_cheese @Verbal | 14 Jul '09, 14:40 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I didn't get it, either...
    
    until I realized that GF meant "George Foreman" as in, 'George Foreman grill' I knew something was amiss before I clicked the link though because it didn't make sense for him to include a pic unless it was a picture of them in the act--which he wouldn't likely have had time to take.
    
    CrazedLeper @Verbal | 1 Feb '10, 15:27 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - HA HA HA I GET IT NOW
      
      thewarn @CrazedLeper | 20 Apr '10, 12:04 | X | ^ This | Reply
      
      Balonz this'd this
- Not funny
  
  The joke only worked until half way down. Why would your dad ask you how your sandwich press (whatever it is...gf?)
  
  Total fail.
  
  OvertakenByTractors | 15 Jul '09, 19:56 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  OvertakenByTractors this'd this
  - Oops didn't mean to ^ it
    
    haven't seen that button before.
    
    I get it now George Foreman grill. I'm a vegetarian...maybe that makes no difference. I don't cook.
    
    Still not funny...
    
    OvertakenByTractors @OvertakenByTractors | 15 Jul '09, 19:59 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - it wasn't funny it was actually a bit lame
      
      no offence. obviously a lot of effort was put in, so well done!
      
      blownawish @OvertakenByTractors | 15 Jul '09, 20:04 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - that fence is gonna break if you don't get off it
        
        cowcow @blownawish | 15 Jul '09, 20:07 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        i was just appreciating that obviously he tried and failed
        
        fine ok THAT JOKE WAS SHIT
        there are you happy?
        
        blownawish @cowcow | 15 Jul '09, 20:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        yes
        
        cowcow @blownawish | 15 Jul '09, 20:11 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        who do you think you are?
        
        of fence?
        
        Shuffles @blownawish | 15 Jul '09, 20:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - Haha I laughed out loud
      
      Tweeted!
      
      Ichor @OvertakenByTractors | 24 Jul '09, 15:48 | X | ^ This | Reply
- worst thread since that saturday night one i made
  
  months ago, absolutely hammered, blubbering and asking why no one loved me. at least that was funny.
  
  drakepress | 15 Jul '09, 20:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - barely a drop in the sea of emo drake
    
    no biggie
    
    do you want to join my band, Sonoluminescence? its the new DiS super group
    
    doodthatkicksarse @drakepress | 15 Jul '09, 20:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - can i join
      
      cowcow @doodthatkicksarse | 15 Jul '09, 20:22 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - i invited you earlier today!
        
        have you amnesia?
        
        it will absorb davy and his tin whistle army tho, you cool with that?
        
        doodthatkicksarse @cowcow | 15 Jul '09, 20:29 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        letssavetonyorlando this'd this
        
        no
        
        cowcow @doodthatkicksarse | 15 Jul '09, 20:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        you could do dahtwa part time?
        
        or they could like be our roadies
        
        doodthatkicksarse @cowcow | 15 Jul '09, 20:33 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        no
        
        /neither
        
        cowcow @doodthatkicksarse | 15 Jul '09, 21:30 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - i'm in.
      
      drakepress @doodthatkicksarse | 15 Jul '09, 20:24 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - awesome
        
        garagey, noisey, heavy, dubby, electro-ish, KRUNK, with emphasis on the bass and drums
        
        what direction will you take our fledging super grouping?
        
        doodthatkicksarse @drakepress | 15 Jul '09, 20:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        sex appeal.
        
        and the sound of the Replacements covering the Cure. and some lazy rhythm guitar.
        
        drakepress @doodthatkicksarse | 15 Jul '09, 20:41 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        who else we got in this menagerie?
        
        drakepress @drakepress | 15 Jul '09, 20:42 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        excellent
        
        err... so far, me, you, cowcow, and someone who doesnt even post anymore
        
        EVEN OAKS START OFF AS ACORNS, OR SOME SHIT
        
        im working on song titles;
        
        stripey cardigan love
        
        broken hornrim blues
        
        doodthatkicksarse @drakepress | 15 Jul '09, 20:47 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Good
  
  that I took a look at the pic.
  
  musico | 16 Jul '09, 11:16 | X | ^ This | Reply
- ETI
  
  Rarn | 16 Jul '09, 19:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
- funny but...
  
  copied and pasted from other message boards :P
  
  Rarn | 16 Jul '09, 19:37 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Oh
  
  and GF means George Forman grill! oh you.
  
  Heringerin | 16 Jul '09, 20:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Thanks Heringerin
    
    I must be thick, but finally got it....
    
    zazza @Heringerin | 17 Jul '09, 13:04 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Haha
  
  Absolute gold
  
  Allaboardrecs | 8 Aug '09, 01:22 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - i love you
    
    marilyninthesky @Allaboardrecs | 8 Aug '09, 09:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
- dude...
  
  Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that’s not my problem.
  So the orangutan’s name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to here. “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You use to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?”. Next thing you know she’s calling.
  
  “I’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?”
  “Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to a monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I’ll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know my number so don’t be a str-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde’s making Mojitoes.”
  
  At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing. You’re talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.
  
  turkeymansandwich | 5 Sep '09, 08:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - what?
    
    GalacticStar3ruption @turkeymansandwich | 5 Sep '09, 15:09 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - i agree
    
    MissBass @turkeymansandwich | 5 Sep '09, 21:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - strong posting
    
    shucks @turkeymansandwich | 5 Sep '09, 21:39 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    -dan-, Antelope, and no-class this'd this
  - I have no idea what the point of this post was
    
    but it's still brilliant.
    
    Antelope @turkeymansandwich | 8 Jan '13, 02:50 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Best single-post users
    
    1. LeeNewell
    2. jtown
    3. this guy
    
    _TheBeautifulOnes_ @turkeymansandwich | 8 Jan '13, 12:11 | X | ^ This | Reply
- thanks to stumbleupon
  
  over 85,000 people have looked at this thread since it was posted.
  
  sean | 29 Sep '09, 14:03 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - ...
    
    Nice work for something that basically came from one of those 'hilarious' circular e-mails middle managers send to each other.
    
    Stealthy @sean | 29 Sep '09, 14:05 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Next week on DiS:
    
    Top Peter Kay one-liners
    
    marckee @sean | 29 Sep '09, 21:24 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - woah.
    
    ham_and_cheese @sean | 4 Jan '10, 17:44 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    joeymahone this'd this
  - i was the one that gave that discovered it
    
    what do i win?
    http://i48.tinypic.com/2q00vte.jpg
    
    skellywager @sean | 1 Feb '10, 15:52 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - *the one that discovered it.
      
      skellywager @skellywager | 1 Feb '10, 15:54 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - sean can you tell us how many people have viewed other threads? I'm intrigued!
    
    chris_is_cool @sean | 20 Apr '10, 15:23 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Stealth bump from a fake account alert.
  
  http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4190118#r5151409
  
  But who?
  
  TheWza | 1 Feb '10, 15:33 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - The plot thickens...
    
    Nidmunch @TheWza | 1 Feb '10, 15:56 | X | ^ This | Reply
- :D
  
  quality bump
  
  talskar | 1 Feb '10, 15:56 | X | ^ This | Reply
- made my day
  
  you sir just made my day. i was feeling really bad for you for a second until i opened that photo link. i had to open it twice before i understood. fantastic
  
  broken_wingedfox | 20 Apr '10, 06:23 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Why is someone creating an account just to bump this thread?
    
    It was bad enough the first time round.
    
    hip_young_gunslinger @broken_wingedfox | 20 Apr '10, 08:34 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - why has this awful joke got street teamers?
      
      harru @hip_young_gunslinger | 20 Apr '10, 08:54 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - It's playing the Hammersmith Apollo with Jason Manford tonight.
        
        thewarn @harru | 20 Apr '10, 08:58 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        headlining i presume?
        
        harru @thewarn | 20 Apr '10, 08:59 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - Is it possible that it is a George Foreman grill viral thing (or whatever you kids call it)?
        
        Balonz @harru | 20 Apr '10, 09:05 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        xylopwn this'd this
        
        ...
        
        George Foreman would never allow himself to be connected to anything this tacky... is what I said the first time I heard about the concept of a 'George Foreman' steak grilling machine.
        
        P.S. A welcome return for DiS' worst ever thread!
        
        Stealthy @Balonz | 20 Apr '10, 10:54 | X | ^ This | Reply
- WELL I LIKED IT
  
  SCROTUM | 20 Apr '10, 15:15 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Really funny!
  
  I'm in bad mood and your story really made me laugh a lot ha ha ha. Thank you so much ^_^
  
  ginnyle | 25 Apr '10, 17:46 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  flubby this'd this
  - This is just getting weird now.
    
    hip_young_gunslinger @ginnyle | 25 Apr '10, 17:53 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    harryrick1 this'd this
- payday
  
  sounds like a perfect opportunity to ask for somehting expensive.
  
  theintl | 13 May '10, 07:45 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Bumperty Bump...
  
  Eoinl | 24 Sep '10, 16:59 | X | ^ This | Reply
- sticky
  
  innisj | 25 Sep '10, 05:41 | X | ^ This | Reply
- seriously, i can not believe that this is the most read thread on the social board in 2010
  
  i feel ashamed.
  
  sean | 31 Dec '10, 15:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - really?
    
    HAHAHA
    
    joeymahone @sean | 31 Dec '10, 15:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    brusma this'd this
  - 141,000
    
    can complain about that type of site traffic.
    
    skellywager @sean | 31 Dec '10, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - *can't
      
      skellywager @skellywager | 31 Dec '10, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Oi Sean
    
    who has the most viewed profile?
    
    Do a thread. Go on.
    
    still_here @sean | 31 Dec '10, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - :D
    
    Icarus-Smicarus @sean | 31 Dec '10, 15:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - lovely stuff
    
    colon_closed_bracket | 8 Mar '11, 13:32 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    Icarus-Smicarus this'd this
  - Of all the threads for a spambot to bump.
    
    StormJH @kiki123 | 9 Mar '11, 00:47 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - Always makes me chuckle
      
      :D
      
      Starmixer | 5 May '11, 21:02 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - ¡oh wow, the sad trombone website's gone all cinco de Mayo!
      
      icehockeyhair | 6 May '11, 00:40 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - can't believe this thread
      
      had over 100k hits this week?!
      
      sean | 31 Jul '11, 12:27 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - this shit pays your bills, yo
        
        -dan- @sean | 31 Jul '11, 12:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        it may end up being what funds the redesign, for sure.
        anyone want to start a few threads like this in order to fund DiS?
        
        sean @-dan- | 31 Jul '11, 12:34 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        Can you sell advertising space on just specific threads?
        
        -dan- @sean | 31 Jul '11, 12:36 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - What do I get??
        
        Have I saved the forum?
        
        http://tinyurl.com/3opr8qk (screencap)
        
        skellywager @sean | 31 Jul '11, 13:30 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - Now THIS is what should be spread as an upstanding example of what DiS is like.
      
      Icarus-Smicarus | 31 Jul '11, 12:36 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - We're famous. HI EVERYONE
      
      moousee | 31 Jul '11, 13:07 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - I'd like to thank my parents, my teachers, my family, friends, people who work in the shops and pubs I frequent, everyone who's never mugged me,
        
        and most of all the writers of that episode of the Simpsons with the film festival and the football in the groin and Krusty saying the loud part quiet and the QUIET PART LOUD. You taught me all I know about comedy. *weeps*
        
        -dan- @moousee | 31 Jul '11, 13:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - I can't believe how many views this thread gets
      
      It's no SOAWJO that's for sure.
      
      Antpocalypsenow | 31 Jul '11, 13:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - My mum now has a GF!
      
      (She just texted me to say thanks for the mum's day amazon vouchers.)
      
      TheWza | 23 Mar '12, 18:08 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - classic
      
      Antelope | 8 Aug '12, 14:44 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - I read it 10 times a day
        
        Icarus-Smicarus @Antelope | 8 Jan '13, 02:27 | X | ^ This | Reply

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