This is the competition to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels

Personal favourite - the winner of the Detective Novel category:

'She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.'

Other winners:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2009.htm