Basically, I've spent the last year completely failing to get a job. Admin work? No. Receptionist? Nothing. Waitressing? Nope. Retail? Nuh-uh. This is the point you realise you need to apply to McDonalds. So I'm going to do that. Then if I get rejected I can die without regrets knowing that my life is completely beyond hope.
So basically, I can apply for:
1) Day shift worker - with the totally unworkable wage of £4.85 per hour. It'll no doubt be busy and loud and give me headaches and make me want to cry. Either at central, which I can walk to, but is really big and horrible, or the one that'll cost me £4 for travel each day but is likely to make me want to die a bit less.
2) Day shift Customer Service Assistant - a slightly more workable wage of £5.75 per hour. Involves giving out balloons and doing party stuff. Is probably the least desirable job I've ever come across.
3) Night shift worker - a remarkably awful £5.35 per hour. Won't be especially fun, but I don't do social things, so can probably adjust sleeping patterns. Will be considerably less busy, and no awful noisy children. Probably quite a lot of awful noisy drunk people to be loud and aggressive and make a mess though. Again, at central place with lots of drunk people, or place that costs me a few quid in travel, but is away from town therefore presumably more bearable.
I still wonder whether it looks better to have 'unemployed' or 'McDonalds' on a CV though. Anyhow, if you had to choose, which of them would you go for? Or ideally if you've worked there, which is least likely to result in suicide? I'm leaning towards night-shift, but I have a feel I might be underestimating the stress levels considerably. Kthnx.