1. It's racist. Well either massively racist or just unaware of how disgustingly O-T-T American it is. Hell most of his films are, but sure enough the only soldier of the troop that gets it? A black dude. The family who live at home with their gran'ma who only eat fried chicken? Black. The only Transformer who actually dies? Jazz; the one who gets 2 seconds of screen time and is blatantly supposed to mimic Afro Carribean traits. The hero of the piece? A family man, a clean cut white soldier who's done his time on the front.
2. WHY ARE ALL MICHAEL BAY FILMS SHOT IN THE 'GOLDEN HOUR'? eg. as sun goes down? Sure it looks cool in the odd scene, but the WHOLE film? It makes vehicles look nice, but people look orange.
3. The phrase "No no no no no NO NOOOOO!!!!!" Shia says it when he drives through the Porsche garage. And when he's chased by a robot. And when his car gets stolen. And when the cube dismantles. And when Fox sits on his lap. And when he's spunking one out over his nitro and rubbing oily lube on his face. UNNECESSARY MICHAEL, UNNECESSARY...
4. The shitty little Decepticon robot that has the most of the scream time of any pf the robots (barring Bumblebee). Isn't it just one of the Weasels from Who framed Roger Rabbit? recreated as an horrendously annoying series of product placements?
5. Bumblebee looked WAYYYYYYY better before he turned into that shitty American car in the tunnel.
6. Optimus's mouth. Why oh why. UNNECESSARY MICHAEL, UNNECESSARY...
7. Optimus' end line. Appalling. If only there was more than meets the eye to the script.
8. Turturro. What was he thinking? Why are secret bosses of organisations always crap? Why did he listen to Fox and strip down to his undies?
9. When Transformers are in a hurry, why not run around like mentalists or fly rather than turn back into cars and drive everywhere?
10. Fox only looks REALLY hot in that scene where she leans over the bumper.
11. The master plan for saving the world? Decamp to the centre of a packed city. Amazing. And they listen to the expendable soldier's plan - you know, the perfectly rational one who chooses to believe a kid's story about a robot then points a gun at a superior officer whilst being under attack.
12. Why send Shia to the roof to deliver the cube. Why not a FUCKING SOLDIER who could perhaps run up those stairs quicker. Or why not get one of the robots to fuck off with it, seeing as they can fly and all...
13, The scene at his house where they tread on the garden and hide in the trees. Woeful.
14. It goes on forever. Like this list.
To counterbalance this, here are the plus points:
The line about "Were you masturbating?' was quite funny. And it was a PG, so kudos for that. And the teaser trailer about the Beagle recon probe was quite topical and clever.
Erm... that's it.
I realise it's a film about transforming robots. In the summer months. By Michael Bay. So I wasn't expecting The Godfather. But c'mon... it COULD have been good. It was shite.