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anybody got any numbers?
they're all dead skanky
I have some French numbers if you'd like.
i can't be arsed now, the moment has passed
tell them to give me a call tomorrow
anyway, one of Alan Shepard's favourite joke;
A lumberjack had just been assigned to a new camp in the most isolated spot in the Yukon. There he was introduced to the other lumberjacks and given a tour of the logging camp. He admired the overall cleanliness of the camp and the way it was set out; the camp cook, while old and grizzled kept his hair tidily netted, the camp secretary managed to type 100 words per minute and never spilled any of his pipe ashes into the keyboard, and the bunk houses were all kept swept and clean by their individual residents.
The last spot on the tour was a little shack out the outskirts of the central clearing. "What do you keep in there?" he asked the foreman. "That's our recreation shack," the foreman replied. "We have no women in camp as you noticed, and being isolated out here can get pretty rough on a guy. When you need to relieve your 'manly urges', you go into the shack. There's a barrel in there and...well...do what comes naturally. All the men swear by it. Just come by after your first time and we'll make a schedule for your use of it."
The lumberjack was skeptical, but thanked the foreman and settled in for his 6 month stay. Every so often he would notice one of the other men visiting the shack and he observed that when they entered, they looked tired and unhappy, but when they emerged they all had a new spring in their step and looked completely invigorated. After a couple of months, he began thinking more and more about the shack and finally, after a particularly vivid dream in which a bear sow played the starring role, he began to get worried and decided to give the barrel a try. So late the next afternoon, checking to make sure none of the other guys were nearby, he casually strolled by the shack and ducked inside.
The interior was dimly lit, but he could see a 100 gallon wooden barrel with a hole cut into the side near the top. Closing his eyes, he inserted himself and "did what came naturally" and was overwhelmed by the exquisite sensations that overcame him. After about 15 minutes of pure bliss, he had the most intense orgasm he'd ever experienced. He immediately rushed over to the foreman's office to get a schedule made so he could utilize the barrel as often as possible.
The foreman gave him a sly wink when the lumberjack entered the office and pulled a notebook towards him. "I see no problem with this schedule. As long as no one else has a prior appointment, you can use the barrel any day of the week when you're not working on a crew, except Tuesdays. OK?"
The lumberjack asked "Why not Tuesdays?" The foreman replied,
"That's your turn in the barrel."
you're just girlish enough to feel my wrath
but change the original post to read 'but I'm not sure. I mean, do I? I've been thinking about this a lot recently and I just don't know'. You would then have created the perfect Galactic thread.
a woman once. She died soon after.