And actually succeeds. A cherub amongst a sea of lefties with thin, woodlouse cocks.

Here's the initial statement:

''I worked at a coffee shop once and while putting out a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies, we found one with a Band-Aid in it. That was pretty vomit-inducing.''

Here's the inspired parody:

''I once opened a packet of Band-Aids and found an entire oatmeal raisin cookie instead. Put me right off my wound.''

(http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/jun/10/dead-mouse-malt-loaf-court)