And actually succeeds. A cherub amongst a sea of lefties with thin, woodlouse cocks.
Here's the initial statement:
''I worked at a coffee shop once and while putting out a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies, we found one with a Band-Aid in it. That was pretty vomit-inducing.''
Here's the inspired parody:
''I once opened a packet of Band-Aids and found an entire oatmeal raisin cookie instead. Put me right off my wound.''