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Fecal Issues

Balonz [Edit] [Delete] 45 replies 11:57, 9 June '09

Yesterday I heard a fecal story. At a mate’s company the ladies have to go upstairs to use the crapper but there is a disabled one on their floor which they tend to use. One bloke (an Aussie I might add) doesn’t like this. In retaliation he gets in there early and instead of sitting down the usual way he faces the cistern, maybe a toilet reverse cowboy. He then poos, it doesn’t go into the water but stays on the upper concourse. The ladies have stopped using the loo. There are no disabled people in this company.

Secondly, how did I manage to go through my entire education with only a handful of school based poos but go on a daily basis at work?

Got any fecal issues today?

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  • tracing paper style

    toilet paper was an excellent deterrent at school

    dontgetanybigideas | 9 Jun '09, 11:59 | X
  • i wonder that too...

    justanothersheeldz | 9 Jun '09, 12:01 | X
    • It's not the tracing paper theory as dontgetanybigideas says

      because if they had that here I would still have to go or bring in my own.

      Balonz @justanothersheeldz | 9 Jun '09, 12:03 | X
  • that's called an AC Slater

    Ibzo | 9 Jun '09, 12:06 | X
    • Wow

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a.c.+slater

      Balonz @Ibzo | 9 Jun '09, 12:10 | X
      • actually incredible.

        You learn something new every day! :D

        shucks @Balonz | 9 Jun '09, 13:01 | X
  • Maybe you didn't drink as much coffee/tea/caffine-based drinks then.

    These have a laxitive effect.

    Also, the well known morning-after-beer-poo theory comes into play more when you're an adult than when you're a child.

    gowman | 9 Jun '09, 12:06 | X
    • yeah my friend does 6 or 7 poos every single for real.

      and they are all normal sized poos she showed me a typical example once. i was super impressed! she doesn't even eat that much. that's my great poo story.

      blownawish @gowman | 9 Jun '09, 12:08 | X
      • Every single?

        The top 40 must be a riot round her house.

        thewarn @blownawish | 9 Jun '09, 12:11 | X
      • 7 shits a day - impossible

        Lucien @blownawish | 9 Jun '09, 12:21 | X
        • .

          It's not a second
          Seven shits a day
          Just as long as I stay
          I'll be waiting
          It's not a second
          Seven shits a day
          Just as long as I stay
          I'll be waiting

          Balonz @Lucien | 9 Jun '09, 12:24 | X
          • You see, I was trying to lever the phrase into incredible by General Levy.

            THAT^ was a much better idea.

            thewarn @Balonz | 9 Jun '09, 12:26 | X
      • it's true!

        she's really skinny though, so maybe there's something wrong with her tummy.
        i know it's not cool to show people your poos but i was flabbergasted. plus girls have different rules about toilet business in front of each other.

        blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 12:30 | X
        • Women need to open up about this.

          My girlfriend has tried to put a blanket ban on crap-chatter - I tend to ignore the rules but it doesn't go down well.

          I did catch her fart the other day.

          Balonz @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 12:44 | X
          • Did you use a jam jar?

            gowman @Balonz | 9 Jun '09, 12:46 | X
            • Cupped hand and then pinned her to the floor and forced it down her mouth.

              How we laughed!

              Balonz @gowman | 9 Jun '09, 12:48 | X
          • when we went to new york with school

            none of us good poo and we all got constipated except my friend who had diarrea and so we put bets on who would poo last.

            blownawish @Balonz | 9 Jun '09, 12:49 | X
            • good poo

              Balonz @blownawish | 9 Jun '09, 12:51 | X
        • boys are allowed to

          are you being a sexist bamnnan? fairer sex is a ridiculous term, we are generally no more pleasant than boys.

          blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 12:46 | X
          • no its funny and informative.

            did you really just ask what the point of women is if we are not pleasant? were you joking?

            blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 12:54 | X
            • how annoying and ridiculous.

              plus you can't deny the universal appeal of toilet humour..

              blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 13:01 | X
              • if its not funny anymore then why do people still laugh at it?

                obv perceptions of the differences between women and men are based on biological differences amongst other things but its not deny who you are to make jokes that are 'unfeminine'

                blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 13:14 | X
                • Everyones shit stinks.

                  Get over it.

                  gowman @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 12:56 | X
                  • If you don't like it

                    go to Russia

                    gowman @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 13:01 | X
                    • ok so now you are racist and sexist?!

                      i can't tell if you are joking.. :(

                      blownawish @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 13:06 | X
                      • We are all aware that you are an attention starved depressive

                        but you don't stop banging on about it.

                        Balonz @Bamnan | 9 Jun '09, 13:05 | X
                        • Shitting death

                          gowman @blownawish | 9 Jun '09, 12:31 | X
                          • There were a lot of comments in this thread to make me laugh.

                            This one made me laugh loudest.
                            Thanks.

                            TheoGB @gowman | 9 Jun '09, 13:39 | X
                        • That's true

                          I also eat later but I can't remember if I would curl one out before school or not.

                          Balonz @gowman | 9 Jun '09, 12:09 | X
                        • Yeah, what the fucks that about?!

                          I'm sat at work needing a dump right now, this was a very rare occurence at school.

                          I've not had beer, and I don't drink coffee. Maybe I just like being paid for it.

                          djodell | 9 Jun '09, 12:47 | X
                        • this is a shit thread

                          Ricky_Ronco | 9 Jun '09, 12:55 | X
                          • ^good observation

                            skellywager @Ricky_Ronco | 9 Jun '09, 13:05 | X
                        • Anyone watched Flight of the Conchords Season 2 - the episode with Keefa?

                          Well there's a great term for having a shit in that episode. Great term.

                          TheoGB | 9 Jun '09, 13:40 | X
                          • Yeah I have

                            and it also happens to be the episode being shown tonight on the BBC.

                            Balonz @TheoGB | 9 Jun '09, 13:42 | X
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