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i think the former.
I can deal with things not going my way but hate wondering what might have been had I not fucked things up myself.
as the former means you did everything you could possibly have done. It's better to not blame yourself. The other person may have been slightly better or would have fitted in better at the office, or was just lucky - but it's still not your fault. It also means you'll be more likely to get the next one, as you're obviously up to it...
"ballsing up the interview, not getting the job and then finding out my boyfriend is still in love with his ex"?
ballsing up the interview finding out about the ex, discovering them in bed and not fancying her.
you feel all hopeful for a few days, only for it all to come crashing down. At least if you cock it up you can just move on.
If you make a mistake, you can learn from it. If you did your best and weren't considered good enough... that's a lot harder to take.
Voice of experience
I'm going to start a thread about how shit everything is now. JUST YOU WATCH ME
Also, you'll get the "we really liked you" bullshit. YOU REALLY LIKING ME DOESN'T BUY MY KIDS NEW SHOES, DOES IT?!!
In fact, "could you buy a pair of trainers for my kids?" is pretty much the first question I ask a girl on a date. If she says no/runs a mile I know she's the wrong girl for me.
The ironic thing, of course, is that I don't even have any children.
giving your best and still failing being worse
better to trip up and learn something than put your best foot forward and have everyone mock your shitty shoes.
i think a lot of people have a pretty justifiable fear of discovering the limits of their potential.