So last night, my friend went to a hotel room to extremely dominate and sexually humiliate a stranger for an hour. It's the first time she's done anything like it, and she doesn't even enjoy it - she's a lesbian, he was a man - but rent was looming and it seemed like easy money.

The best part, however, was that she called me before she went in and left her phone on the side so that I could hear every ROFL-inducing moment. Words failed me.

When did words last fail you?

Aside from this incident, it was probably yesterday when I went to the ice cream van, to find that a 99 ice cream (with flake) did actually cost only 99p.