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love via mixtape: easy
you've been ripping the wrong songs you doofus
but I quite like the secret 'lol' club. So maybe we should keep schtump.
you bunch of emo fuckers!
Would you pay money to attend a seminar? Is this a gap in the market?
Nice idea but not sure I can be arsed to orchestrate.
on modern romance
possible possible ideas for a date include:
a shooting range.
they aren't in any position to post it themselves haha.
the (indie) girl I said it to gave me probably the worst look I've ever had in my life...
who makes this distinction. We all do.
you forgot: shave the back of your neck you scruffy bugger
heh, I wasn't going to out you, but you know I speak the truth!
back to the bottom of the emo pile for you, loser
i'm not a loser! i'm a winner!
it can work for YOU
we want actual tapes, with hand written track listings etc.
if you're Lou Rawls
are still allowed to flirt, you dirty homophobe
he had a wife
and he's dead
are you leading me up the garden path
That song is actually about how he loved the Roald Dahl autobiography 'Boy' though.
and you won't end up in Dead End Street with your Lady Love.
wear skinny jeans, but with your arse crack visible
through your fringe. well, mumble it rly
asking for help from the internet....hmmmmmm....I say yes ;)
make it look like yr a scrapper
(actually, occasionally, but only if you're not too stupid to capitalise...)
are you a) andrew bird or b) conor oberst?
if so, nope.
although conor would become a major whigeing pain the arse after 12 hours.
sorry lady, you can have him in the next life.
he told me.
and i like him best.
even though he looks a tiny bit like gareth southgate, i can live with it.
if it turns out he's not i'm going to have to keep the news under wraps - if my gf thinks she has a chance i might find myself rapidly dumped.
and you're all pissing about.
I NEED TIPZ
they're the worst sort!
they can SENSE it
it's all gone wrong since it went mainstream.
I say we hang him.
I just threw mine out the window in disgust
shave your head
steal a chain link fence, paint it gold, drap it around your neck
nicked off the bonnet of a car to it.
yup, moar plz
stand up straight, head up.
Remember, good looking girls won't care about ATP, or even know what it is - talk about something else.
ATP is all I know! I'm sure they'll secretly be interested to hear about how good Sleep and The Jesus Lizard were really.
that's the last thing you should do
and actually thus proving I find it much easier IRL.
and lopsided face.
It was a shit attempt at an amusingly predictable response - I just really am this rubbish at it!
Snort whisky and grow a toenail on the end of your penis.
HALP i'm out of my depth. does she like me? I DONT KNOW
IF SHE POKES YOU BACK YOU'RE WELL IN
I haven't heard that phrase in about a year...
and more to the point...what she pokes you with
"xxxx poked you in the penis. Poke back?"
It's a sure sign, apparently.
If he types...and then she types...
I think we have a wedding on our hands.
you arent invited. its a small ceremony. very small. close friends + family only. 200-300 MAX
but we are already doomed to a life of unhappiness and divorce? ah well...
this is it boys
HELP ME OH GOD
the flirting scale has just been broken
do you like this song
you do? i prefer the early stuff
want to come back to mine? i'll play you some?
no, oh, i'll make you a tape next time
word for word.
always offer to buy them a drink.
You let the side down.
did you forget harru? He failed with that irish dude trying to put the moves on him.
That's quite yacht.
If you're going to suck your lower lip and nod your head for 45 minutes at a band you've paid to see, make sure to look annoyed at people actually daring to move in front of you.
and carry round a ghetto blaster with 'Baby Got Back' and 'Mr Boombastic' playing at full blast on a continuous loop.
and then when you finally get to talk to them, act like a crazy person by being very shy and reserved, and then all of a sudden getting a little too excited so you start being really enthusiastic and talking mega fast about something dead boring :(
Well... this is what I did anyway. I DO NOT recommend this, hence the sad face.
Don't bother. Indie girls are too much effort.
Grope them outrageously.
there will be about eight women and they will all have boyfriends