Something a bit wrong happened last night.
Yeah, so I was at Manchester Victoria Train station, had a lovely night with a girl, I was listening to Moby, eating a tic-tac, all was well. Anyway. I couldn't help but notice a fairly middle-aged guy in a suit and glasses looking over in my general direction. I'm not a shy person, so I looked over and gave him a polite nod in response to his staring, just incase I knew of him, nothing suggestive, nothing over-friendly, just being aware that he exists.
Anyway, I was wandering over towards the last train, spending a bit of time organising the change in my wallet, getting my ticket and Railcard out incase they inspected it on the way onto the train, all was well. But then I noticed this guy was waiting for me to get on the train in an 'after-you' kind of way. I didn't mind, thought it was quite polite, I'd probably do the same for anyone, so I walked on, all was well.
It was the hand on my back as I stepped onto the carriage that first made me slightly self-concious. Maybe he was just making sure I stepped up from the platform okay? I don't know.
But anyway - Then I figured I'd get ready to sit down, stick something ace on my iPod, relax in the empty carriage, maybe have a nap, read a book, text a few people, generally have a lovely time on the train. Little did I expect this certain fellow to sit down next to me in a pretty-much-empty-carriage.
Being polite, and generally not minding strangers and meeting new people at all (as long as they strike up a conversation and aren't too weird), I didn't tell him to go away or anything, but at the same time, too much time of silence had gone past to unawkwardly talk. If he'd said 'Hello, I'm *insert posh and perverted sounding name here*, I've just had a wicked game of backgammon', then it would've been okay. He just sort of sat down, took up all the space, and that was that.
He fiddled with his papers about Salford Uni, I stared fixatedly out of the window into the black abyss of the night, Planet Telex by Radiohead very, very, very quietly playing into my ears so I could be aware of anything funny going on. It was awkward as sin.
Anyway, two-stops down from Manchester Victoria, to my utter relief, he said 'This is my stop pal', to which I replied 'Ah okay, see you later mate. Take it easy.' - He then proceeded to pat me on my knee twice, and say 'You can get off here too, if you like...'
*pat, pat, pat*
I shifted slightly in my chair and said, 'No. It's Okay. I don't live here. Bye.'
After another pat on the knee, he went.
And all was well.
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this could've only been made better by starting with Once Upon a Time.#
Prick tease.
the wrong thing being
listening to Moby, tee hee.
OH YES!
This was my thought. Heh heh.
haha i was gonna way this. great minds, etc etc
That's the MI6 initiation.
You failed, you could have been a spy.
Moby ?
that IS a bit wrong, poor sod. :-(
i want the extended 2-disc edition
with alternate ending
What a delightfully friendly chap
This world is far too cynical of nice strangers.
You were well in there!
ha
That was you?
Small world.
you were a sweetie pie
this thread really shoulda been called
"Last night I meat John Brainlove"
You are a very handsome chap m-dizzle.
Incidentally I am getting the train to london on sat from Glasgow, feel free to meet me half way ;)
back off
Poor guy probably just wanted a hug!
Most memorable failed train chat-up:
Boy: do you mind if I smoke?
Me: no, go head.
Boy: it's my work's Christmas party on Saturday, would you like to come with me?
Me: ummm, thanks, but no.
Boy (approaching train door): cunt.
:(
hahaha :d
actuaLOL
Superb!
I have never been called a cunt by a stranger before (que being called a cunt on here).
I can't ever remember smoking being allowed on trains.
Was this in the fifties?
It was banned about 17 years ago
this was just after the ban
Where did you take the girl beforehand?
in the bum
TIGHT!
(It was a serious question)
Thanks for asking Gowman, we had a lovely time.
Went strolling around the streets of Manchester hand-in-hand, went for a wander down to the canal, saw some ducklings, they were excellent. Went for some drinks, bumped into some friends of mine in Font, so we hung around with them for a while, were going to go into the Cornerhouse, but we'd just missed the start of the film.
In general, it was a magical evening, Gowman. Weird-man-on-train included.
Cool!
ah font bar
how I miss thee. Love that place. Do they still have the big screen with pro evo on?
mmmmm
the one in liverpool has that too. Can never get on it though, too busy
They do, but refuse to go NEXT GEN
So it's still a PS2 with Pro 08 on it.
<3
Sounds like my kinda place.
Is 'font bar' actually 'The Font' or are you referring to a different place?
Lucky you!
Sounds like a thrilling train journey that you won't forget in a hurry.
shudder
i do no like that
It was a whole bag of wrong
LOL
tight jeans?
brief encounter eh?
shame you didnt have rachmaninovs 2nd piano concerto on your mp3/laptop.
Perhaps you just have particularly nice knees?
um, as a matter of fact, I've got a few Rachmaninoff Piano Concertos on my iPod
From my A level Music Days. Not sure what the shame would be.
My knees are spot on.
It was used as the theme music to the film 'brief encounter'
a film about unrequieted love on the railways, and the possibility of 'what could have been' the agonising 'what if' ......'we cant can we?' 'no we cant' 'but if only'
What was the "posh and perverted sounding name"???
Was it Rupert? That's pretty pervy.
He looked more like a Dennis
Ha.
When i was in the off-licence the other day looking at beers a guy came in, very tall, 40s, very drunk, smart, weird.
Him: 'Do you not know what beer to get?'
Me: 'Errrrrrrrm, no'
Him: 'Depends what you want. Is it for your girlfriend?'
Me: 'Errrrrrrrrrm. No'
Him: 'Have you got a girlfriend, though?'
Me: 'WHAT?'
Him: 'You wanna get laid?'
Me: 'EH?'
Him: 'You wanna get some beer and get laid?'
Me: 'Ha. Not really. Cya.' <walks off>
Him: 'Suit yourself'.
These pervs must just cruise round looking for younger weird-looking males that they think they might be able to do some bendering on.
I feel so left out.
Maybe I go to the wrong places.
Only happens to good looking people
ZING!
OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
To think I used to like you.
you need to move to manchester
The last stranger I spoke to was a man outside the cash machine on Saturday. Smackhead, think he was building up to trying to mug my landlord but he can't hear very well so gets a bit funny with strangers & I didn't think it was going to end very well at all if I left him to try and diffuse it himself. So....I stepped in and saved the day! Me! Little old me, a measly girl.
The plus point to confronting the smackhead is that my landlord said he's indebted to me until such time as he can return the favour. Like Morgan Freeman in Robin Hood. Awesome.
Wow - what with this and the spider incident last night I've come to realise I'm much braver than I thought.
I'm on my way
you blatantly led him on
Haha
The first day I was in Dubai I was wandering around having a look and a guy in a sleeveless top nodded as I went past, and I nodded back thinking he was just being friendly. The guys there walk around holding hands with their friends afterall.
I carried on walking for about 5 minutes and then looked to my left - and he was directly alongside me, about a metre to the left, walking along. I just thought it was a co-incidence, so I carried on for another two minutes and looked again - he was still there and this time looking directly at me even before I turned around.
I decided I'd test this thing out so turned back in the other direction and powered away, and lo and behold he was keeping pace with me again so this time I tried to put on my best glaring face which I thought would do it. 5 minutes LATER, he was still following me but much further back, so I ducked through some smaller alleyways and eventually lost him...like some kind of Bourne film that involves fleeing from a horny gay chap rather than, say, the US Government.
Here's a hot tip: don't nod at men in sleeveless tops in Dubai
I’da thunk the gays would be a bit more subtle over there
God knows how overt his come-ons would have been without the possibility of jail time as a deterrent.
I must have looked so gay that the thought of me reporting him never crossed his mind
it's actually really prevalent in lots of strict muslim countries
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200705/gay-saudi-arabia
The authorities are so obsessed with restricting interaction between unmarried heterosexual couples that they turn a blind eye to even really blatant homosexual activity. If you that article there's a guy who has lived in the west and in Saudi Arabia, and he reckons it's easier to be gay in Saudi.
Men are predatory arent they.
Do not want
this happened to me on the tube a couple of years ago. This middle aged guy sitting opposite me started making weird, quite loud kissing noises.
Naturally that caused me to look up, at which point I saw him staring right at me, so I quickly looked away again. And then that thing happened where you keep checking to see if somebody's still staring at you, and they are, so they see that you keep looking at them and in their mind they think that's because you fancy them.
It made me feel pretty uncomfortable but eventually I got to my stop and hastily exited the train, at which point he followed me, came up right behind me on the platform and said "Do you LIIIKE me?" in a sinister voice in my ear, causing me to shout something like "nyaaaah get the fuck away from me!" I assume he did, because I ran away and didn't look back.
then what happened?
a few weeks ago i was on the bus home
some guy came down from the upper deck, and i noticed him because he nearly fell down the stairs he was so hammered...anyway, he sat down next to me and went "ooh you alright babes?". I was quite tired and not in the mood so i gave him a dirty look without responding then turned away. He said it again but this time he rubbed his hand on my knee.
Now in these situations i normally just move seats or something, but the fact he touched me made me think that if he was doing this to a girl it would be well out of order, he could probably get arrested for sexual harassment or something so i turned to him, looked him dead in the eyes and said really quietly but firmly "touch me again, i fucking dare you".
He moved seats.
nice.
Moby?
ive had me arse grabbed on a couple of seperate occasions by gay men in clubs
and on one occasion, my shirt lifted up by a girl who explained, "my friend is gay he likes you", and lo and behold a big grinning drunk motherfucker next to her
oh, i've had the latter before too.
gay men are the only people that ever hit on me :(
you gave him a nod?!
why would you do that?
not a nod in a bad way...
i just don't like it when people ignore one another, so i'd feel like a hypocrite if i didn't even acknowledge this person existed..
and for the record, could your post be changed to:
he patted your knee?!
The nod is definitely key
to this whole wonderful experience
it is not!
it was barely a nod... barely a grimace... he touched my knee!!
That's the nod, that's the nod...
the nod of love.
'...a lovely night with a girl, I was listening to Moby, eating a tic-tac, all was well.'
You wanted the pole. You whore.
not true
Ok, maybe so, but there's an aura of confusion in your actions.
A nod?
i DIDN'T NOD
it was just not being a horrible person towards this random person, he could've turned out alright, sadly he turned out creepy, but I didn't know that, it could've been Jesus for all I knew.
It's totally the nods fault. And Moby's
Never had this, luckily.
The funniest thing to happen to me in train-related conversations was one weekend I'd spent in Leeds with my brother and his Uni mates. One was doing this impression of all the people he meets at his local gym which consisted of an asian-yorks accent saying: "I live in Bradford but I work in Leeds!".
Anyway on my way home that weekend, sure enough, some guy gets on next to me at Leeds, we start chatting away. I ask him what he's up to, and, word for word, in the exact accent: "I live in Bradford but I work in Leeds!". I couldn't stop laughing.