This by far for me

"Pooing into a plastic recepticle is unsurprisingly extremely unpleasant. I made a good poo tho, I'm hoping doctor wong comments on my excellent stool next week. Ridiculously fit girl at the doctors, full on should have asked her out for coffee, tho one's charm is somewhat hampered when holding a plastic bag containing one's own faeces in the waiting room of the gastroenterology department of london bridge hospital"