"ok there's one here"

"No...I want to go to one that only sells organic stuff.and it has to be fair trade"

"What about this one?"

"No..it looks manky"

"But it's organic"

"NOOOOO...oh..I meant this one"

"But this doesn't show any signs of being organic or any evidence it only uses fair trade products"

"But I like this one."

"ooooh...you mean.. you wanted a FUCKING POSH CAFE......YOU ARE DUMPED!"