I understand they are fake and contain nothing but bullshit....

but why do they feed me bad news? surely if they want to dupe me into payign for their services they should be telling me everything is going to be great? Not that I'm never going to make money, that I am most likely going to die from a horrible disease and that I may become the leader of religious cult (the last bit sounds ok actually)

My mate did the same thing and he got a completely different result!!