This is no joke, either. The guy who wrote this is notoriously attention-seeking and narcissistic.

Ready? Okay, here we go:

Oli ******* is a bit shocked at his results from the clinic... Gona be some awkward phonecalls to make.

Emma ******* at 13:15 15 April via Facebook Mobile
What the hell u have bad aids??? What u doin today wana come town with me to take my piece of shit blackberry back? I've just got outa bed as per so just text me:) x

Jason ***** at 13:38 on 15 April
sori 2 hear Oli! :( You'll be getting as bad as all the other rugby lads soon! Lol...use txts, I'm sure it won't get u in asmuch trouble. try 2 break d news gently! :(