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'Cockermouth?'
'You're joking right, chance'd be a fine thing!'
X
D
No I keep it on the porch.
'Surrey?'
'I SAID I TOOK THE MISSUS TO LEATHERHEAD FOR THE WEEKEND'
I went to Leatherhead on Sunday.
Of course i do, she's my girlfriend!!
Rome
'Rye?'
'Because that's where she used to go on holiday, as a child. She wanted to see how things had changed since her last visit and perhaps indulge in some nostalgic candyfloss eating and cold sea paddling.'
No, she waited for me.
"Libya?" "Well look, I love you too, but I have a girlfriend. As I just mentioned."
'Ararat?'
'Don't you judge me on my loose morals.'
Gambia? No you come here!
Jakarta? No we flew, obviously.
Lyon? No, I'm telling the truth!
i still dont get it
Bilbao? No, since you ask I was Frodo.
Mumbai? No, we split the bill.
Stockholm? No Helsinki.
Grenada? No, Rifleman
Islamabad?
Nah, they're alright really.
Karachi? Yeah, it was a write off.
Galway? Ok, ok, I got a bus from Cork to Dublin, but I walked the rest.
sofia? her names abi, how many times?
Shatner? No but they did indulge in watersports.
Russia? Nah, I let her take her time.
Split? No, we're still together.
Brazil? I didn't know such a product existed!
Rotterdam?
Nah, she made a full recovery and everything's fine now.
Diarrhoea? No it seems a pretty good place so far.
Hungary? No Romania.
Budapest? No, I said Romainia.
Bucarest? You get very confused between Hungary and Romania don't you.
Whitehaven?
No, she sunbathes in the nude.
Brazil?
That prat off Talksport? No way.
Bangor? No we're just friends.
There is one in NI too i think. Anyway. Carry on.
County Down? Yeah.
Harlow. Well, i thought we'd already completed the necessary greetings, can't you answer my question?
Grays? No but they did play 'Seen The Light' off that album.
Kumanovo?
I can't you fool, I'm in Macedonia.
Staines? No i wore a bib.
Stevenage? Yeah loads, it got annoying pretty quickly.
Cheddar gorge? Yeah, she needed stiches!
Exeter? Of course, I couldn't just carry on!
Brighton? You would think it would have a more serious name!
Leyton?
No it was in Walthamstow.
Greenwich?
Yes AND a real dog on stage, it was pure magic!
and with that joke ......
You should have seen the post.
Wrexham?
No, I wouldn't go that far...
Norway? Yes I bloody did.
Minsk? Of course we did.
Hull?
No, it was actually the rudder
Singapore?
No, not bad at all, actually...
Preston?
No, actually they were attached with glue...
Idaho?
I certainly hope not.
Shanghai?
No, I'm a tenor.
Uganda?
Yeah I got a pretty good look.
Djibouti? Nah, she wouldn't let me go that far.
DR Congo? You racist!
Papua New Guinea?
No, it was for me.
Isle of Man? Jesus Christ, not you too!
Alaska? No you bloody won't, she's mine!
Seoul?
A bit, but he mostly covered stuff from Thriller onwards.
the other week.
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My wife's bought a holiday home in Poole
in Dorset?
I certainly would!
In Dorset?
I certainly would!
X
X
D
D
In Dorset?
No I keep it on the porch.
I certainly would!
'I took the missus to Leatherhead for the weekend.'
'Surrey?'
'I SAID I TOOK THE MISSUS TO LEATHERHEAD FOR THE WEEKEND'
Please:
I went to Leatherhead on Sunday.
Jamaica ?
I certainly would!
Nah, she wanted to.
i took my girfriend to the capital of Italy last week
cheers.
Genoa?
Of course i do, she's my girlfriend!!
nope,
Rome
I don't get it
its cos i havent finished yet
'I took the missus to East Sussex for the weekend...'
'Rye?'
'Because that's where she used to go on holiday, as a child. She wanted to see how things had changed since her last visit and perhaps indulge in some nostalgic candyfloss eating and cold sea paddling.'
:D
I went to a monastery in a lovely town for lunch, but got there a bit late...
Nuneaton?
No, she waited for me.
the payoff was worth the 90-minute wait
"i took my girlfriend to north africa the other week"
"Libya?"
"Well look, I love you too, but I have a girlfriend. As I just mentioned."
'I took my bit on the side to eastern Turkey last week.'
'Ararat?'
'Don't you judge me on my loose morals.'
i took my girlfriend to WEST africa this time
Gambia?
No you come here!
took my girlfriend to Indonesia last week
Jakarta?
No we flew, obviously.
I took the misses to East France last weekend?
Lyon?
No, I'm telling the truth!
i took my dentist to the homeland of his favourite band, System Of A Down
Armenia?
nah it hurts a bit but he has my best interests at heart
10/10 for effort.
i still dont get it
armin' ya
I was playing a hobbit in a Lord of the Rings LARP in the North of Spain
Bilbao?
No, since you ask I was Frodo.
*fraodao
I went for dinner with Ma in India the other day?
Mumbai?
No, we split the bill.
:)
seriously you lot, dont get me started on this.
Satan is recreating his kingdom in my bathroom basin in Scandanavia?
Stockholm?
No Helsinki.
before that I was a a serviceman in the Caribbean
Grenada?
No, Rifleman
I was weighing up becoming a muslim on a trip to north Pakistan last week,
Islamabad?
Nah, they're alright really.
I think I saw you in Pakistan, while I was there I was in a traffic accident in the second city.
Karachi?
Yeah, it was a write off.
I walked around Ireland the other day, starting in the middle on the West coast.
Galway?
Ok, ok, I got a bus from Cork to Dublin, but I walked the rest.
i took my bird to the capital of bulgaria the other day.
sofia?
her names abi, how many times?
My mate went to an orgy dressed as a star trek actor the other day.
Shatner?
No but they did indulge in watersports.
:D
I took the Missus to a vast country in Europe recently,
Russia?
Nah, I let her take her time.
Me and my girlfriend were in Croatia the other day, we had a "serious" talk
Split?
No, we're still together.
My girlfriends underware sprang a leak in South America
Brazil?
I didn't know such a product existed!
My girlfriend picked up a nasty STI when we visited a city in the west of the Netherlands.
Rotterdam?
Nah, she made a full recovery and everything's fine now.
!
Hello local, we're visiting for the week although i've got a nasty stomach bug.
Diarrhoea?
No it seems a pretty good place so far.
(dire here?)
Just got back from Eastern Europe, didn't eat for days.
Hungary?
No Romania.
I was in Romania, and I was followed around by a religious leader, it was really annoying.
Budapest?
No, I said Romainia.
Then I stayed in the capitol of Hungary, in one of those budget travel chains.
Bucarest?
You get very confused between Hungary and Romania don't you.
I took the missus to Cumbria the other day
Whitehaven?
No, she sunbathes in the nude.
I went to South America with my mate Alan.
Brazil?
That prat off Talksport? No way.
Took a mate of mine to Northern Ireland the other day.
Bangor?
No we're just friends.
Bangor's in Wales, innit?
oh.
There is one in NI too i think. Anyway. Carry on.
Actually i just checked, it's near Belfast and the North Channel. i used to watch daytime tv there.
County Down?
Yeah.
I heard you were in Essex the other day, whereabouts?
Harlow.
Well, i thought we'd already completed the necessary greetings, can't you answer my question?
Anyway, i was in Essex too the other day, i went to see Supergrass.
Grays?
No but they did play 'Seen The Light' off that album.
Yeh I'm in the Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia, up north.
Kumanovo?
I can't you fool, I'm in Macedonia.
The first time i ever ate lobster was in surrey.
Staines?
No i wore a bib.
Met up with some Adam & Joe fans in Hertfordshire last week.
Stevenage?
Yeah loads, it got annoying pretty quickly.
My wife got attacked with some cheese in Somerset.
Cheddar gorge?
Yeah, she needed stiches!
I got caught taking the missus from behind in Devon.
Exeter?
Of course, I couldn't just carry on!
Have you heard about that disease that is spreading around gay areas on the south coast, it's making peoples bell-ends glow!
Brighton?
You would think it would have a more serious name!
I went to see my less than punctual friend's band play in North East London last week.
Leyton?
No it was in Walthamstow.
I went to see the wizard of oz in south london
Greenwich?
Yes AND a real dog on stage, it was pure magic!
i grew up there
and with that joke ......
You should have seen the post.
My wife finds that driving to a certain town in North Wales has an adverse effect on her tyres
Wrexham?
No, I wouldn't go that far...
this thread is fantastic
The other day, I ran from Oslo to Trondheim.
Norway?
Yes I bloody did.
Last week I was on a gay walking tour of the capitol of Belarus.
Minsk?
Of course we did.
:D
My wife and I found an original piece of the Titanic for sale in a certain town in the North
Hull?
No, it was actually the rudder
My wife and I went to a pop concert in the Far East
Singapore?
No, not bad at all, actually...
My wife found a dress decorated with real dried flowers for sale in a shop in the North
Preston?
No, actually they were attached with glue...
I had sex with a prostitute in a north-westerly state in the US recently
Idaho?
I certainly hope not.
I performed in an opera in China last week
Shanghai?
No, I'm a tenor.
I spent a few months in Africa recently.
Uganda?
Yeah I got a pretty good look.
I was on a kinky sex weekend with the missus in East Africa.
Djibouti?
Nah, she wouldn't let me go that far.
We went to central Africa, where the missus got ill, she had to see a shaman.
DR Congo?
You racist!
I went to Oceania recently with my dad, and we bought a pet rodent
Papua New Guinea?
No, it was for me.
Great
I keep getting chatted up by gay men. Anyway, I was thinking of going on holiday, somewhere between England and Ireland would be nice.
Isle of Man?
Jesus Christ, not you too!
I was thinking of taking my finacee to the States to propose, but she likes cold places.
Alaska?
No you bloody won't, she's mine!
I caught a Michael Jackson tribute act while he was holidaying in South Korea
Seoul?
A bit, but he mostly covered stuff from Thriller onwards.
I was moderating the drowned in sound message board from a Primary School in the Nam Ha National Bio-Diversity Conservation Area, Luang Namtha, Laos
the other week.
Ban Theo?
Nah, I don't have the right moderation permissons