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Office challenge
This is kind of a spinoff from the school stories thread. I find it very difficult to secretly read playground law without making muffled, snorting chuckles in the office. The very nice German lady next to me just asked me if I was alright while I was reading the story about 'Bongo Jim,' which, one contributer describes, is the character created when you pull a pair of swimming goggles up round your waist to just above the genitals, with the penis creating a nose and the testicles a wrinkled chin.
Try it.
..I mean reading the website in your office, not Bongo Jim.
XD XD XD
Daniel Sodaburgh's dad was the Ultimate Warrior, and his uncle was Hulk Hogan. They both had the Knight Rider car. Normal enough, I suppose, plenty of kids lie about what their parents do.
However, his mum was Batman. That's Bat MAN.
He was 12 when he told us this and no amount of backpedalling on his part made us forget it. Ever.
I had to copy and paste this with my eyes shut
fainting in class
A girl who sat near me in 11th grade English came into class one day, looking rather sweaty and pale. As the teacher read from Tom Sawyer, this girl began to moan low like a wounded animal. Suddenly, her eyes rolled up into her head, she barked like a seal and then passed out, her face slapping down on the desk in front of her. But as soon her head hit the desk, she let off a fart like a goddamned foghorn. A fart which smelt like death.
I have failed this challenge dismally
A dinner lady once asked a colleague what the magic word was, after he forgot to say please. His response?
"Abracadabra motherfucker, now give me my potatoes!"
...
We had developed a habit of riding invisible motorcycles around the corridors of our secondary school, accompanied by sound effects. As this was done without regard for the health & safety of non-participants, the headmaster saw fit to ban the practice.
One day he had caught Kenneth Keene and James Spencer joyriding in the corridor, and was in the middle of giving them a ticking off when another 'biker' came tearing past them. The furious head shouted at Ken to go after the boy and bring him back, so Ken climbed on his imaginary bike, kickstarted it and roared off in hot pursuit.
----
The last time I heard this story, it was set aboard a Navy ship in world war 2.
oh god
Stands for Big Tits. Requires two participants and a big titted girl. One boy shouts "beeee... teeee..", the other runs up to punch the tits and shouts "Cellnet!"
Then both parties run away, because punching girls in the tits gives them cancer.
Oops, should have had 'B.T.' at the beginning.