Regular feature? Doubt it. Anyway:
1. Is that whole Sunday Express/Dunblane thing really that offensive? Fucking retarded, aye, but offensive? Nah.
2. 'Raped'. I think Pards misused the word. Raping is what Aaron Lennon does to full-backs on a regular basis. In a footballing sense, it's a lot less literal than he gave it credit for. I'm right, right? Right.