Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
i need some. fast.
must in some way excuse me without it looking like i dont want to go.
help now please.
once i get there i will probably kill myself anyway
You can't go and see someone else's mum. That would be very poor form.
its like 6 weeks away, so nothing is "in the dairy"
How would you get there? By train? Claim you saw someone get hit by a train and are now scared of them.
not even my brothers girlfriends borthday is good enough
isn't stone cold enough?
Just pretend to be ill when the time rolls round.
Tell her you moooved?
It's Friesian outside?
You need to go and buy a new Jersey?
You'd cream yourself on the spot if you saw her?
he's talking bullocks
is milking it. Any more had butter be good
Buy tickets to a gig/cheap getaway/horse racing event for that weekend and say
"Well as much as I'd love to go, I told you I wasn't doing anything that weekend becuase I booked *insert surprise* for US dear. I was going to keep it speacial but you FORCED it out of me"
and make sure you have EVERY weekend booked from now to 2011
When's the actual weekend methsly? I'll do some research.
she's been banging on about for ages.
"er? i'm not sure what i'm doing that weekend, i havent got my diary" is starting to wear thin. she's knows i'm free and is buying the tickets today.
does she live far far away?
middle of nowhere basically. for 2 whole days.
"how about now?"
Or is there just something you want to do that weekend?
the being forced to sleep in seperate rooms is good one.
Couldn't you request that this doesn't happen? Like maybe they'd like to live in the REAL WORLD?
It's not like we're discussing two 18 year olds here. Yes, 'our house, our rules' but equally that doesn't give you carte blanche to treat someone like they're 14, especially when clearly it's not as simple as them just not coming if they're unhappy.
i can go on if you want?
Personally I could handle a weekend of not being in the same bed as Lo, even though I'd feel put out at being treated that way, but I'm guessing there must be plenty more. Either that or Dan's being wet.
1. when we go out for dinner (inevitable), only partriarch will will be allowed to pour the wine. very strict on how much you get too.
2. i eat with my knife and fork "back to front" which doesnt go down well.
3. i cant watch any shit tv. only the most boring sports supplement in the world (the times) for company.
4. i'll have to go to bed at 10pm on saturday night, alone and when i'm not tired.
5. i dont work in the city.
6. i cant be at all sarcastic about anything. i definately CANNOT make jokes. about anything.
7. i cant swear.
need me to go on?
What I've discovered so far is that you DEFINITELY need your laptop and a stack of proper fun DVDs for after you've been sent to be.
How old is Mrs. Meths out of interest?
Or do you not own a pair of headphones?
AND you're going to Wolverhampton. Seesh.
1. buy them dinner and serve your own wine, say something like "since i am the guest, i thought i should show you all a good time" usurp the alpha male, right from the off. TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE TAKING THEM OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVE. you can totally turn the tables in this way.
2. take them for chinese food.
3. you can get away with anything if you put a good story around it, people will do anything when given a narrative that explains why they should do it. call ahead and ask them to have the papers you want delivered, if they don't get their paper delivered, for the days you are there, PAY FOR THEIR PAPER TO BE DELIVERED WITH YOURS. if you want to read something crappy, buy it with something good too.. and explain you feel you want to see what news people NOT LIKE YOURSELF are getting.
4. dealt with in another post
5. the city means nothing nowadays, not going to work in the city is a good sign that you might have a job in the near future. Provide examples of city companies that were "stable" that shut.
6. do this anyway. a stern look will not kill you.
7. use olde english swear words.
whatever happens have some fun 90 percent of what i say might not help. Just because they treat you like you are a kid, no reason for you to feel like one.
i just think a happy balance isn't me agreeing with someone else so i can have "peace" that hides a true resentment.
They aren't treating you as an equal, which is what you deserve. Of course, you aren't treating yourself as one right now. So you get less than you deserve.
You don't post on here much, do you? :D
is that an unpopular theory ?
1) My step father in law lets me take from his JD
2) you're better off not getting head at your in law's dinner table anyway
3) you should count your lucky stars, they have good cricket stats in there sometimes!
4) then you can knock one off quickly and still be ready for when the misses joins you
5) look, you're 30 now, perhaps you should really be thinking about a serious career.
6) Sarcasm is best undetected anyway, just learn to do it better.
7) i called my mother in law a f**king retard at christmas. she loved it!
if I visited my folks with Mr Starshaped we stayed in different rooms. It's only 2 days. I think you can cope.
and when you are asleep, you don't know what's going on , so it's only the bit before you fall asleep. which is a lot less time.
Just wait till the parents are asleep, do what you will, then go back to seperate rooms. If they are that strict and horrified by the fact SEX is happening under their roof, chances are even if they catch you they will never speak of it. Their repression is your permission.
is a good and accurate one.
Would they have done this if you were almost 30?
and yes, yes they would. Defo.
Because they're Christian or because they have old-fashioned values?
You wouldn't have slept in separate rooms if they'd visited you? (Not that I can imagine such a possibility ever occurring as you'd have needed to be loaded pre-marriage to have a house big enough!)
we didn't live together before we got married so that wouldn't have been an issue either.
you could always 'accidentally' chop off one of your fingers, maybe while making sandwiches for the journey. Quick trip the hospital then the rest of the weekend to put your feet up and relax.
for a nominal fee.
and if you did, i'd have the flat to myself
and take you to your flat?
Genius. They'll never think to look for you there.
and you've drowned her parents in a huge vat of milk
suck it up and take it like a man
It's very easy to say 'it's only 2 days, put up with it', but a minute of absolute discomfort in somebody else's house feels like being imprisoned.
Have you had to stay the weekend with them before? Is your gf/wife aware that they're twats?
1. when we go out for dinner (inevitable), only partriarch will will be allowed to pour the wine. very strict on how much you get too - seriously dude, REACH FOR THE BOTTLE. i mean, does he actually say 'only i am allowed to pour the wine'?
2. i eat with my knife and fork "back to front" which doesnt go down well. - you're a retard.
3. i cant watch any shit tv. only the most boring sports supplement in the world (the times) for company. - take some magazines and books.
4. i'll have to go to bed at 10pm on saturday night, alone and when i'm not tired. - why? cant you and the gf go to the pub? or for a walk? read in bed?
5. i dont work in the city. - meh. argue about they screwed it all up
6. i cant be at all sarcastic about anything. i definately CANNOT make jokes. about anything. - do it anyway, and slip in a 'maybe my humour is too highbrow for your tastes'
7. i cant swear. - not that big a deal.
but seriously, they might be parents but if they're dicks, stand up for yourself for godssake!!
if LLBs parents were like that, i'd be snotty back to them.
Made me snorty-giggle.
they are just very old fashioned and boring.
or get her dad to sleep with a prozza who has AIDS then get him to confess it, after having slept with her, then get her banged up after she knowingly has sleeping with some other dude, and eventually you should get some good inheritence
I had to do the separate bedrooms thing when the boy came from an ultra-religious background, and was totally surprised with how much it bothered me. Like, you're on best behaviour all day trying to create a good impression, then you have to go back to this lonely bedroom without so much as a debrief and a cuddle. Tough times.
But if y'all don't get along so great, surely your girlfriend would be better off spending some quality time with her folks without you there anyway?
this seems to be the problem
and put in an appearance. As long as it buys you credit for a good year or so.
totally go with the buying them dinner thing I suggested earlier it sets you up as an equal, as a provider, and it means that you get to set the tone of the meal, It will also upset the equilibrium of power in a way that doesn't look like you are trying to upset it.
Once you are paying for something the rules all change. BUT MAKE CLEAR BEFORE THE OUTSET OF THE MEAL THAT YOU ARE PAYING. Don't just pick up the bill because you won't get to have any fun before hand.
just make sure you milk their cat, shit on their dead grand parents and set fire to owen wilson. the last part is essential.
owen wilson can be a bitch to burn sometimes.
That'll show them in a perfectly passive-aggressive manner how you feel about their attitude.
Hyck! Hyck! Hyck! :D
"i dont want to go all the way to sleep in seperate rooms".
i dont think she was listening tho
Frankly you've either got to go and shut up and never raise this subject ever and just live with it.
Or you have to force a confrontation about it and make it clear that you actually give a shit.
Do you guys live together?
- just be a man and tell your girl you don't want to go
- something happened at work and you HAVE to be there that weekend
- go and see your own family instead
- be a man and just go, deal with the parents, deal with sleeping alone for the weekend (you might enjoy it!) - hell she might be gagging for it by the time you leave. take a book. go for walks with your missus to avoid being in the house. find some common ground with the in-laws.
- join a cult
- phone a "warning" to the train company
- get and remain drunk for the entire weekend and you'll not be asked back. with any luck you'll be invited to leave early
- get the in-laws into schmokin'
- be a man and dump her
This shouldn't be happening when you're 30. You're almost an adult.
Tell them to fuck off.
This is meths we're talking about. I give it another ten years.
In exchange for going to your festival?
But doing something horrific (make a pass at the mother?) under the dining room table, and you'll never get invited back.
I'm thinking about the long term.
that you said "I'm not going all that way to sleep in seperate rooms" and make it clear that you meant it. Tell her you'll go if that won't be the case.
I have no idea what this will achieve, if anything, I just want to hear what she says about it.
I learned it because meths' girlfriend told us how they were going and was almost wroth with me because I hesitated for a nano second when faced with the question of whether Birmingham was a nice place.