I will not have her tunnel bandied around this office willy nilly
bwahahahahaha
fave office quotes plz!!!!
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- Mount Kimbie - Cold Spring Fault Less Youth
- Baptist Generals - Jackleg Devotional to the Heart
- Tribes - Wish to Scream
- "More bands should split up" - Brett Anderson opens up to DiS about the return of Suede
- CocoRosie - Tales of a GrassWidow
- Laurel Halo - Behind the Green Door
- Frankie & the Heartstrings - The Days Run Away
- Drowned in Manchester #15 – May 2013
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'Under weaknesses.......you've put eczema'
condoms come in all different flavours nowadays. there's strawberry and curry and that.
do you like curry?
'Gareth, ultimate fantasy?'
'2 lesbians probably.sisters.im just watching'
can i hear more from gareth please
i love this programme so much
...
"If we dont have the right size flange can we butt-fuse?"
Gareth
“In my experience, women who work in factories are slappers.”
YOU DONT KNOW WHERE ITS BEEN!
its been in a box in a factory
this a lovely exchange between gareth & tim
Tim:Team leader don’t mean anything mate.
Gareth: Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team.
Tim: No it doesn't-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it.
Gareth: I think they do.
Tim: No they don’t Gareth.
Gareth: Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm.
i watched that episode last night :D
oh dear god the office is amazing
they should be rewarded if anything...
they should be equal
Gareth Keenan Invetigates
the whole
jelly/stapler debacle.
"Have you all met this this little lady...this lady down here?"
Oooooohh
you meant from the programme The Office not the office you work in.
Oopsie.
..
gareth: "in this room i have special"
tim: "needs?"
gareth: "no... in this room i'm a special"
tim: "needs child?"
i was just about to post this one, so i'll post a different one
Gareth: I can read women. You've got to know their wants and their needs. And that can be anything from making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries each week to making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse.
"Kiss me on the nose!"
"If it was up to me, the office would be full of them." (in the context of the episode it is fantastic
my fave, Gareth and tother bloke whos name I forget
“You know when he's fighting Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon?”
“No?”
“You not seen that?”
“No?”
“Have you not, I can’t... that is a classic.”
“No, I’ve not seen him fight Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon, I’ve seen him fight Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon.”
“Ah, that’s what I meant, that's what I meant.”
“Is it? Why did you say have you seen him fight Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon? He fight’s Bob Wall in both, but Norris is only in Way of the Dragon.”
“Yeah, I know, so when he’s fighting Chuck Norris-”
“In what?”
“In Way of the Dragon.”
“Correct. At last.”
Gareth and Simon
You know Bruce Lee's not actually dead right
He's actually a spy working for the Chinese government.
Yes, because if you wanted a spy you'd choose the world's most famous Chinese actor.
"Because the regime don't like it man"
YOU CANT PUT VERY ATTRACTIVE, IT SOUNDS LIKE ARROGANCE...
put atttractive...
I love it when he goes on the date with the fatty in the white scarf. His reaction.
'oh for fu...'
"yeah hi...hi"
'it said on your profile you liked classical music'
'DID IT???? yeah thats right...all the big dogs'
"oh i wasnt you, it was the other one."
cringe.awkward.hillarious.awful.
this series gives me all those emotions all the time
' could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I'd make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you'd be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different
times
"you know, if you asked me to name 3 geniuses i wouldnt say "issac", "newton"...yeah...
i'd say, "milliagan cleese everitt"..."sessionsss"
.
tim canterbury.....canterbury tales.....chaucer........shakespeare
And then Tim's confused face!
Love it.
...
You're in the jungle, a trooper is down, gangrene's setting in, "Who's used all the penicillin?" "Oh Mark Pattson sir, he's got nob-rot of some tart"
the quiz
Finchy: "Who did you say was the Cuban leader, who's been in power since the revolution of the nineteen-sixties?"
David: "Well, it's not important now, it was spur of the moment, just off the top of my head."
Finchy: "No, who did you say? Go on, tell them."
David: "......Fray Bentos."
MISTER TOAD??!?
"We had to let him go in the end
he was rubbish....he was rubbish!"
Slowly slowy catchy monkey.
I could catch a monkey.
When Tim calls it off with Rachel
'Gareth, I beg of you, don't go over there.......just don't go over there, please......Don't take Dirty Bertie, I'm begging you, if you must go over there, don't take Bertie, leave him here'
I can't be bothered to go find the actual quote, but it's words to that effect
Also:
'What am I doing in there with a dildo?!'
"....because over there, fanny means your arse....not your minge."
*bites into scotch egg*
..that'll be be a quiet night in at the library... not!
I was thinking
will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark
And people say she's just a big pair of tits
Great man, great dog
...
If there is one person who's influenced me, someone who is a maverick, someone who sticks their finger up at the system, then it's Ian Botham. Because, Beefy will happily say: "THAT's what I think of your selection policy, yes I've hit the odd copper, yes I've enjoyed the odd doobie, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I'm walking to John o' Groats for some spastics."
I could give you a list of fifty things i could beat you at
Like throwing.
hey everybody its richard blackwood
and they say 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?'...and not in racist way
My world does not end within these four walls, Slough's a big place.
And when I've finished with Slough, there's Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know I've got to-Didcot, Yately. You know. My-Winnersh, Taplow. Because I am my own boss, I can-BURFIELD.
I know I'm not homophobic.
All right, come 'round, look at my CD collection; you'll find Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys. They're all bummers.
WANKER
youre te wanker if anyone is mate