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someone e-mailed me inadvertantly asking for advice on how to practice cannibalism
and I thought, "wow, that sounds pretty awesome. I'm going to read more about it". So I search Wikipedia for 'Girls' and am obviouly directed to the page about the younger female of the species. Predictably enough, a co-worker pops over to my desk to talk to me at just that point...
Nothing funny ever happens here. It's where funny comes to die. I'm dying!
meaning how to complete a section of his teacher training in chunks, the silly billy
has inadvertantly professed their ardour for a colleague in their mid 50s (female).
An email about canibals? You should start writing memoirs.
Me: I have a copy of that invoice you asked for. Do you want a soft copy or hard copy?
That's probably the only funny thing that's ever happened, apart from the time some fat guy walked through a window thinking it was the door.
and trying to describe it, I said "It's based on a fictional story about corruption with...er..the Yorkshire Ripper murders in the background."
Cue many jokes about Sutcliffe walking in the background with a shard of glass and a female corpse.
"Well, you know what the say; too many cooks in a broth erm... spoil it?"
I'm pretty sure that's not right.
had to be completed by today. Cue manager running round everyone asking "have you done it" (yes I did, and wounded the company in every way, as a matter of fact). He got to a spud headed German guy & the conversation went as such:-
Boss: "Have you completed the survey"
Spud: "I might have"
Boss: "Have you done it or not"
Spud: "Like I said, I might have"
Boss: "Just tell me, have you done it"
Spud: "I don't have to tell you if I vote"
etc, etc. Never seen my boss's face go so red.
Na na na num nah, I was lovin' it!
to get through my office security with my oyster card instead of my security pass.