There was a small article in the G2 this morning advocating using a water/spray attachment thing like on your shower to cleanse your cheeks after dropping the kids off, rather than using paper. Would you be up for that? It seems pretty hygienic. I might start giving it a go.
Also, I'm sure my poo recently has been leaving more stains on the bottom of the pan than it ever used to. I've become much closer friends with our toilet brush than I ever would have wanted to. Is this a sign that I'm eating too much of something and it's making my poo more stainy? Or am I just popping out heavier bombs, so they're hitting the floor with a higher velocity?