thesoundofbastards and me have spent the last 3 days of work responding to Nottingham City Council's youth engagement initiative 'Young Nottingham'. Marvel at its trendiness here: http://www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/youngnottingham
Inspired by my mild grievance at having to leave the office to help out with some of this nonsense, the fact that being over 25 makes us FACTUALLY no longer young (Young Nottingham only caters for 16-25s, dann), but mainly the incredibly daft '360 things to do in Young Nottingham' pamphlet we were pushing, we've started our 361 things to do in Nottingham for the 25-30ish age range. Here are 1-50.
1. Wonder if John Lewis and House of Fraser are aimed at the same demographic.
2. Express concern at the garishness of a prospective pair of football boots
3. See if it is quicker to traverse the city centre via tram or foot.
4. Become conscious of yourself 'Tut'ting loudly at a facial piercing
5. Make up dulux paint names for the various shades of off yellow present in the Broadmarsh Centre.
6. Try refering to girlfriend or boyfriend as your 'partner'
7. Go for a fishfinger sandwich at homemade, and then think about the price of cod.
8. Try and fail to remember any recipe or activity that you first heard of on Why Don't You?
9. Break into the Tales of Robin Hood and steal a poorly maintained animatronic.
10. Tune BBC Radio stations to the corresponding preset buttons of a car stereo
11. Visit the Arboretum and listen to brass band music.
12. Smell cut grass and feel faintly depressed
13. Get annoyed that there aren’t Monkey Bars at a sufficient height to prove a challenge.
14. Hum the theme tune to 'The Antiques Roadshow'
15. Go clubbing, but dance in a style to how you think the yoof of today dance.
16. Try to ensure all your herbs and spices are of the same brand
17. Take a visit to Games Workshop HQ, and wonder why, with the increase in online fantasy gaming and inner city retail space rents, they haven’t gone under.
18. Find yourself coldly staring at the Old Market Square water feature in deep thought about the possibilities a child drowning incident
19. Laugh at the yoof orientated canvas prints at TransformYourImage upstairs in the Victoria Centre. (Does anyone need an ‘urban’ canvas print of the libertines?)
20. Give a 'high five' in celbration of 5 years of the Tram
21. Try prodding a billboard depicting the new council website thinking it’s some kind of new fangled touch screen device.
22. See how many city councillors you can name in 3 minutes, then try to beat that score
23. Take a day trip to Leicester Forest East Services and eat a KFC whilst enjoying picturesque views over the M1.
24. Try to remember the name of Syvelster McCoy's assistant in Doctor Who, and the childrens programme she presented
25. Go to Broadway cinema, and rather than buying a beer to take in with you, have a nice cup of tea instead.
26. Fall asleep towards the beginning of Match Of The Day 2, awake no earlier than the midway point of the 2 Bad 2 Good segment
27. Notice that your morning commuting time has halved since the pesky kids are on half term.
28. Spend more than 3 minutes wondering whether Wagon Wheels have got smaller, or if your hands have simply grown
29. Complain about the lack of mid-range priced furniture shops with a retail outlet.
30. Wonder if Steve Martin will ever make a tolerable film again
31. Look at a Freesat box and think: “why?”
32. Take a new bottle of shampoo and a new bottle of conditioner into a shower cubicle and recite ealy Vidal Sassoon Wash & Go advert voiceovers to yourself.
33. Work out which Councillors look like which 1980s cartoon villains.
34. Buy a spare pair of laces
35. Realise you have no idea which crisps are which as the packaging has all changed since the last time you bought a packet.
36. Consider restoring a cast iron fire place, then decide that the maintainence is too time consuming
37. Time your visits to supermarkets to coincide with items approaching their best before date being super reduced in price.
38. Try to name as many Aston Villa shirt sponsors as possible, then draw the approporiate number of pictures of Dean Saunders to illustrate your findings
39. Look for Dean Saunders and other 90s footballers on Facebook or similar web 2.0 shenanigans
40. Do an impression of Sean Bean
41. Write a letter complaining about the unorthodox positioning of green men at pedestrian crossings.
42. Wonder if your competitive team sport playing days are over
43. Have kids ask you if your clothes are ‘ironic’ or not.
44. Think of anything Lenny Henry has brought to the world of comedy other than an admittedly accurate immitation of a peacock call, and write it down on a piece of paper.
45. Be unable to decipher any of the graffiti scrawled on the grubby underpasses.
46. Imagine that you are slightly better of than you are, and smile benevolently at all the people around you are far less well off than you in your imagination
47. Laugh at the incorrect usage of the term ‘Bistro’.
48. Wonder what it would be like to own your own pub and then bar somebody who once wronged you in a minor way.
49. Thought buying seating tickets for a gig is preferable to standing.
50. Wonder how great to sledge down the hill in Wollaton Park it would be, wait until it snows, and then stay indoors because its a bit too cold.