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It's like Jeremy Kyle the cbbc version

harru [Edit] [Delete] 77 replies 12:58, 15 February '09

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/177665/Richard-Goodsell-Im-the-real-daddy-Alfie-and-I-want-a-DNA-test-to-prove-it.html

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  • coincidentally, I just walked into the kitchen and heard Jezza on TalkSport.

    I thought his radio days were long gone.

    wrightylew | 15 Feb '09, 13:15 | X
  • this is truly my favourite news story ever

    Ibzo | 15 Feb '09, 13:16 | X
  • Fuck me, the Sun really know what they're doing with this story.

    Three days of front pages, all exclusives (even the Beeb had to make do with just filming a copy of the paper), with more to come no doubt. Well played, sirs.

    hip_young_gunslinger | 15 Feb '09, 13:17 | X
  • lolz

    Richard’s mother Barbie-Jayne, 35, backs his story. She has five kids and was a teenager when she gave birth to Richard.

    JoeDiddly | 15 Feb '09, 13:20 | X
  • Chantelle wants locking up

    and Tyler is way out of her league

    crashinglikeamouse | 15 Feb '09, 13:27 | X
    • Tyler's well hot

      Mehodor @crashinglikeamouse | 15 Feb '09, 13:41 | X
  • wtf

    And amazingly the News Of The World has uncovered claims that Chantelle was sleeping with as many as EIGHT teenage boys around the time the baby was conceived on the Old Town estate in Eastbourne, Sussex.

    8????

    katti | 15 Feb '09, 13:29 | X
    • *day

      fullerov @Pigfoot | 15 Feb '09, 13:35 | X
    • eight teenage boys?

      harru @Pigfoot | 15 Feb '09, 15:14 | X
      • Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag

        Karen Matthews V2

        Yoblonski | 15 Feb '09, 13:30 | X
      • wow/

        I had somehow avoided this.

        If you were 16 and you have grounds to think you might have got a girl knocked-up, and then some other kid steps into to be the daddy, why the fuck would you WANT to get involved again?

        fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:31 | X
        • and whilst on the subject

          http://www.holytaco.com/2008/02/27/8-best-paternity-results-reactions

          number 3 is my favorite. That man will possibly never again experience such joy as he felt then.

          fullerov @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:33 | X
          • incredible

            justanothersheeldz @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:51 | X
            • ^

              Victory_Rose @justanothersheeldz | 15 Feb '09, 15:16 | X
          • had me in tears

            Mehodor @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 14:04 | X
          • oh good god

            serious pro click

            lazerlife @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 14:17 | X
            • what does that mean?

              fullerov @lazerlife | 15 Feb '09, 14:21 | X
              • that boy needs therapy!

                Dicko @fullerov | 16 Feb '09, 09:46 | X
              • a good link

                worth clicking

                lazerlife @fullerov | 16 Feb '09, 13:51 | X
          • 4 is brutal!

            Imagine if on number 3 it later turns out there's a cock-up and he was the father after all? How bad would the kid then feel watching THAT when he got older?

            theguywithnousername @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 14:24 | X
            • ^ I just watched it again!

              It's unbelievable! I want to know who the actual father is! The best bit is the crowds reaction when she says she's been sleeping with his brother, all jumping out of their seats and screaming :D

              badmanreturns @theguywithnousername | 15 Feb '09, 15:09 | X
          • lol @ the white guy not realising the African American baby wasn't his.

            Sibley @fullerov | 16 Feb '09, 12:36 | X
          • totally fucking awesome

            :D :D :D

            berksy @fullerov | 3 Mar '09, 12:49 | X
      • this is getting more horrible by the day

        soapy | 15 Feb '09, 13:41 | X
      • I was lucky to cop a fevered feel of a breast

        at their age.

        I don't appear to have missed much tho.

        drakepress | 15 Feb '09, 13:44 | X
        • my best friend lost his virginity at 12.

          12!

          I also have another friend who says she lost it at 10.

          fullerov @drakepress | 15 Feb '09, 13:47 | X
          • 10?!

            The prospect of getting some young one under my Transformers duvet scarcely crossed my mind.

            drakepress @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:55 | X
            • it is fairly incredible.

              fullerov @drakepress | 15 Feb '09, 14:00 | X
              • Um...no.

                why would I?

                fullerov @DisintegratedMind | 15 Feb '09, 14:47 | X
              • but the 16 year old broke the law

                the 13 year old didn't

                justanothersheeldz | 15 Feb '09, 13:49 | X
                • the 16 year old might have been 15?

                  and they both broke the law anyway.

                  fullerov @justanothersheeldz | 15 Feb '09, 13:52 | X
                  • i dont think if both are under age then there is no prosection

                    but if one was over 16 and the other was under...

                    justanothersheeldz @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:57 | X
                    • that's true.

                      but they have broken the law.

                      also if the boy was 16 and the girl 1 they are unlikely to prosecute

                      fullerov @justanothersheeldz | 15 Feb '09, 13:58 | X
                      • *15

                        I'd imagine some 16 year old macking on a 1 year old would be viewed in a dim light.

                        fullerov @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 13:59 | X
                • She was fifteen at the time, so both (if Alfie is the father) were under age.

                  So they did break the law, but the CPS said there was no public interest in prosectuting.

                  hip_young_gunslinger @justanothersheeldz | 15 Feb '09, 14:15 | X
                  • if a boy what ever age sleeps with a girl under the age of 13 it's deemed statuary rape, even if she consented.

                    But it doesn't work the other way for what ever moronic reason, thus if the sex's were switched the boy would be looking at a jail sentence.

                    alcoholic @hip_young_gunslinger | 15 Feb '09, 15:16 | X
                    • I know someone who's doing time for statuary rape

                      The police caught him trying to fuck one of the Trafalgar Square lions.

                      joeymahone @alcoholic | 16 Feb '09, 13:05 | X
              • "The only difference is the total absence of anything remotely funny."

                Er... really?

                badmanreturns | 15 Feb '09, 14:01 | X
                • hahaha was just about to quote that

                  i can imagine the journalist cracking up as he finished the article with that

                  lazerlife @badmanreturns | 15 Feb '09, 14:08 | X
              • i really wish i had the willpower to not post in this thread.

                BUT IF SHE WAS A VIRGIN WHY WAS SHE ON THE PILL FFS?

                Panic | 15 Feb '09, 14:10 | X
                • don't they help make

                  periods lighter, or regulate them or something?

                  Ibzo @Panic | 15 Feb '09, 14:17 | X
                  • yes

                    good job

                    katti @Ibzo | 15 Feb '09, 14:18 | X
                  • can apparently reduce acne as well?

                    I'm sure some girls I knew from back in my teens said that was the reason. But perhaps they were lying to me.

                    trans-siberian @Ibzo | 15 Feb '09, 14:22 | X
                    • makes you put on weight though

                      CATCH 22

                      too_black_too_strong @trans-siberian | 15 Feb '09, 15:14 | X
                      • It only increases one's appetite I think, doesn't actually cause the weight gain

                        untrue @too_black_too_strong | 15 Feb '09, 16:27 | X
                  • hmm

                    i just thought the context suggested it had been preventing pregnancy beforehand. i'm stepping away from these people forever...NOW.

                    Panic @Ibzo | 15 Feb '09, 15:04 | X
              • he's got a problems page in Pick Me Up

                which I read

                DarwinDude | 15 Feb '09, 14:11 | X
                • My housemate bought Pick Me Up the other day

                  I physically couldn't read it. She read out the section where a psychic was telling someone that their budgie had died and was in heaven with an elderley relative, just from looking at a picture of it. Why the fuck does this stuff get put into print?

                  Also, why on earth does it cost 68p?

                  badmanreturns @DarwinDude | 15 Feb '09, 14:15 | X
              • Why would you proudly boast about this?

                Alfie's spent two or three days being held up as everything that is wrong with modern Britain, then someone else steams in with "no, it was me who shagged her, haw haw haw!"

                simon_t | 15 Feb '09, 14:53 | X
              • what a dirty liar

                "I thought she was pretty"

                icouldwinarabbit @grouchland | 15 Feb '09, 15:06 | X
                • I love the way the other guy

                  is like 'daym why did I sleep wid that bitch she fugly mayn, sure as hell best not be ma baby ho'.

                  badmanreturns @icouldwinarabbit | 15 Feb '09, 15:11 | X
              • ...

                Age: 15
                Sex: Male

                please contact the sun and claim you had a go on this slag. please. it would be great.

                Ibzo @grouchland | 15 Feb '09, 15:08 | X
                • this would be all kinds of amazing

                  do it. DO IT.

                  icouldwinarabbit @Ibzo | 15 Feb '09, 15:12 | X
                  • yes

                    use their name and myspace

                    too_black_too_strong @grouchland | 15 Feb '09, 15:15 | X
                    • one of the ones who exposed you as a paedo plz.

                      icouldwinarabbit @too_black_too_strong | 15 Feb '09, 15:16 | X
                      • what's amazing about that particular sentence?

                        Mehodor @grouchland | 15 Feb '09, 15:15 | X
                      • This has apparently (from what ya'll say) been held up as one of the things

                        that is most wrong with Britain.

                        I actually think it is one of the greatest things ever, if only for the demonstrations of stupidity of all involved*.

                        The girl who has now been outed as a slut of epic proportions and the boys all scrambling to become Eastbournes new young dad.

                        * with the exception of Tyler. He's made a mistake and boy does he know it.

                        fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 15:16 | X
                        • aer uyo gonna donate to seti hte search for extra terrsetrial intelligence

                          dukebox @fullerov | 15 Feb '09, 16:31 | X
                      • Alfie's mum is hot

                        Zapsta | 16 Feb '09, 09:50 | X
                        • ^This

                          hello_dave @Zapsta | 16 Feb '09, 13:01 | X
                      • Does anyone else want to punch Alfie's stupid little face?

                        Not because he's a teenage parent, just because he's got a fucking stupid little face?

                        orsonwellesrabbit | 16 Feb '09, 10:01 | X
                      • The irony of his claim to fatherhood is,

                        what with him being 16, he could be prosecuted for having sex with an underage girl, where as the 13 year-old has appeared to get off scott-free. Frickin' idiot. He should keep his mouth shut. Or his pants on, one of the two.

                        What I find most peculiar is these kids are actually having sex. At the age of 13, I could barely *talk* to a girl, let alone dick them.

                        berksy | 16 Feb '09, 12:21 | X
                        • I doubt his mother was able to pass up the cheque from News of the World for the story

                          and that he had any say in the matter.

                          poptimusgrime @berksy | 16 Feb '09, 12:49 | X
                          • ....

                            what's probably more worrying is that the parents knew what was going on and allowed for all the local boys to keep coming round to shag there underage daughter. Surely there has to be some police involvement on that line?

                            rupture @poptimusgrime | 16 Feb '09, 12:57 | X
                            • This is getting even more insane.

                              Are we honestly supposed to believe that all these kids had a ride on her? She ain't no Lolita

                              poptimusgrime | 16 Feb '09, 12:47 | X
                              • Oh this is probably the best quote:

                                'Chris, who runs the Eastbourne Utd Colts Under-15 football team, added: “There’s not a lot for young lads to do round here. They all hang around in groups of guys and girls on the streets—it’s a cocktail for disaster.

                                “My football team are a good bunch of lads but it only keeps them off the streets three days a week.”'

                                So the other five days they're all 'round Chantelle's, gang-banging her? Nice use of 'cocktail' too.

                                poptimusgrime @poptimusgrime | 16 Feb '09, 12:50 | X
                              • i'm imagining looks don't have that much to do with her appeal

                                without being mean

                                man, i do feel a bit sorry for her. more sorry for the kid, though.

                                hellatronix @poptimusgrime | 16 Feb '09, 13:01 | X
                            • DISGUSTING poor people across Britain were last night...

                              ... urging their 12 year-old sons to impregnate some local slapper.

                              This week thousands of young boys will be dragged away from their vodka bottles and told to find a willing slut who will get them all in the papers.

                              Angela Reeves, mother of 12 year-old Jason, said: "I've told him not to worry if his tart is already having sex with five other boys because that just means more stories, and more stories is more money. Innit?

                              http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/twelve-year%11olds-urged-to-knock%11up-local-tart-200902161579/

                              hectorious | 16 Feb '09, 13:51 | X
                            • it's gets better:

                              look what alfie's dad did to disguise his face from the cameras:

                              http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00733/SNN1608Y-180_733644a.jpg

                              harru | 16 Feb '09, 17:11 | X
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