Easy. Go out with a girl.

Ladyfriend says she'd like a takeaway. I ask what she'd like as this is as rare an occurrence as a leap year. She's "not sure, but something spicy as she has a cold... What would I like?" I don't mind as it's her idea, but suggest maybe not Chinese as she had noodles for lunch and Chinese food is rarely spicy. She agrees. So we spend 5 minutes weighing up Indian or Thai. Ordering Indian evidently becomes a problem due to me needing to pick it up. I ask her to place the order and get a special prawn bhuna for me, but she'd rather I chose myself.

So I agree to come home and order a Thai and collect it from over the road. But this isn't simple enough either and dissolves into her asking me to cook iinstead. So I walk to the supermarket and ask as I get to the car park what she fancies.

"Well, I kind of fancy a Chinese..."

Un-fucking-believable. Now we're both in pissy moods and very hungry.