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and tell me about it here
who battles the evil Recyclobots.
He lives in a skip.
i think i can imagine his costume too - kinda like Clark Kent
who arrives at the crime scene mere minutes after police have apprehended the villan
hes well fat and stuff.
spends his days trawling the internet looking for people to annoy whilst he sits in his underpants eating barmcakes and listening to Oasis.
John Laser Beams was a humble janitor in the laser beam department of his local government facility. then one day an accident with a laser beam gave him tremendous powers with laser beams; now, he uses those laser beams to kill criminals horribly. Also he was in the army, at some point, before that thing with the laser beams why not. he attained the rank of captain.
Janet Potato ran a potato farm in Potato County, Wisconsin. She was hit by lightening in the east potato field one night during a radiation storm, and her essence scattered among all the potatoes in the field. Now when criminals are trying to steal cooking supplies and weekly takings from restauranteurs, they may just find themselves being accosted by mysteriously kinetic potato-based goods; another empty victory for The Potato!
He's like The Flash, only with severe learning difficulties. Which obviously makes his superhero status that much more special.
(I'm not proposing this to be shocking. I just think Spastic Flash has a great ring to it. Picture Guile from Street Fighter shouting instead of Sonic Boom. Or just shout it out of the nearest window. I'm sure you'll agree with me.)
Points out the obvious in order to make criminals realise the error of their ways.
Scene 1 - bank robbery...
Criminal (to bank clerk): "give me all the money! Now!"
Captain obvious (to criminal): "That's Stealing!"
Criminal (to captain obvious): "... You're right, I'm so sorry."
Mild-mannered Dave Sadness was once just a 35-year old office temp with a receding hairline, a bedsit and no previous experience with romantic relationships. But one day, after a series of traumatic life events including - but not limited to - the death of his parents, a botched surgery which left him bedridden for two months, and the repossession of his home, he became Sadness Man! His powers are as follows: crying on command, limited flight, not leaving the house (or even washing) for days, laser beams from palms, super strength, chronic insomnia, regular suicidal thoughts