ARGH you cretins, my brain's turned into Quaker Oats. I need my haircut and a job. Make me a cup of coffee you prick, if we've got no coffee then make me a cup of tea even though it's impossible to have a nice brew in this house. It's something to do with the kettle. When we first bought it everything tasted like plastic. How many times do I need to tell you to buy me some anti-dandruff shampoo? And me watch needs a new battery, I'm sick of having to dig my phone out of my pocket just to check that I've missed Countdown. I need a new phone too. It's about a million years old and the antenna fell off once so I've got shit signal. It's a good job the house phone works again otherwise I'd be too nervous to ring potential employees, there's nothing worse than forcing them to repeat themselves over and over again is there?