I don't know if this is out yet, but y'all may have heard there is a movie starring Jean Claude Van Damme as himself, talking about what it's like to be Jean-Claude Van Damme (or, according to Wikipedia - Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg).
There is also a quote from his Wikipedia article which states that JCVD is "known throughout the French-speaking world" for his "picturesque aphorisms."
Roger Ebert has helpfully included some of these in his review of the film which I must now see at all costs.
••You don't need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.
••If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.
••If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up.
••My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.
••Obviously I've taken drugs.
••When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!
••I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.
••Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.